Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Halloween movie time! You're Next

You're Next- 
“Hey baby you’re the one. Let’s go to a mansion in the middle of nowhere and have a wedding anniversary dinner party with my family. Nothing could possible derail this night.”
Well that is until a trio of silent and animal masked goons show up to crossbow, axe and machete the family to death. Welcome to “You’re Next.”

The Davidsons are getting together for family time and then become hapless victims in a kill crazed bloody orgy. Well that might be a little bit too much.  Guys wearing bleached out masks of a kitty, lamb and wolf just begin killing off the Davidson family. There is all manner of crossbow death, axe to heads, neck slashing, screw driver poking and near beheading. It is a pretty bloody affair.

When the chips are down though one person rises above. The new girlfriend , Erin, is some sort of quasi-MacGyver murder machine (alliteration is awesome!). Well it is explained that she grew up in the Australian outback with survivalist parents. Who knew? Not her dumb dumb boyfriend that is for sure. Who knew survivalist parents tough you how to kill your way to safety and set wicked booby traps? She proceeds to kill and maim her way through the animal mask gang, while taking a quite a bit of damage herself. Then we get the big surprise moment that explains what the hell is going on here. See there is a method to this madness and it is…..look away now………….inheritance money. If the family is dead someone benefits. If we murder the shit out of the family then the huge sum of money will be split between the survivors. It sounds plausible. Right?

Wow, did this movie remind me of a film from the 80’s called Fortress. No, not the horrible Christopher Lambert  space prison movie. This is a horrible movie in Australia with school kids and their teacher being hunted by animal masked guys for some idiot reason. It must just be the masks, Australian stuff and the killing.

“You’re Next” was in the theaters in 2011 so at least it had some money behind it to make it look descent. This was fun in the way The Purge was fun. Yet it was not nearly as awful as that movie “The Strangers” from a few years back that as another killing randoms for no reason movie. It is really mindless violence for the sake of mindless violence while wrapped in a thin layer of plot. Still, for some sick reason, I did giggle whenever a masked goon got their booby trap comeuppance.

Watch this if you want to see an ultra-violent version of Home Alone with a deadly female MacGyver lead.

Alright now onto what is described as being part serial killer and thriller. This is “American Mary.”

No comments:

Post a Comment