You're Next-
“Hey baby
you’re the one. Let’s go to a mansion in the middle of nowhere and have a
wedding anniversary dinner party with my family. Nothing could possible derail
this night.”
Well that is
until a trio of silent and animal masked goons show up to crossbow, axe and
machete the family to death. Welcome to “You’re Next.”
The Davidsons
are getting together for family time and then become hapless victims in a kill
crazed bloody orgy. Well that might be a little bit too much. Guys
wearing bleached out masks of a kitty, lamb and wolf just begin killing off the
Davidson family. There is all manner of crossbow death, axe to heads, neck
slashing, screw driver poking and near beheading. It is a pretty bloody affair.
When the chips
are down though one person rises above. The new girlfriend , Erin, is some sort of quasi-MacGyver murder machine
(alliteration is awesome!). Well it is explained that she grew up in the
Australian outback with survivalist parents. Who knew? Not her dumb dumb boyfriend that is for sure. Who knew survivalist
parents tough you how to kill your way to safety and set wicked booby traps? She
proceeds to kill and maim her way through the animal
mask gang, while taking a quite a bit of damage herself. Then we get the big
surprise moment that explains what the hell is going on here. See there is a
method to this madness and it is…..look away now………….inheritance money. If the
family is dead someone benefits. If we murder the shit out of the family then
the huge sum of money will be split between the survivors. It sounds plausible.
Right?
Wow, did this movie remind me of a film from the 80’s
called Fortress. No, not the horrible Christopher Lambert space
prison movie. This is a horrible movie in Australia with school kids and their
teacher being hunted by animal masked guys for some idiot reason. It must just
be the masks, Australian stuff and the killing.
“You’re Next” was in the theaters in 2011 so at least
it had some money behind it to make it look descent. This was fun in the way The
Purge was fun. Yet it was not nearly as awful as that movie “The Strangers” from
a few years back that as another killing randoms for
no reason movie. It is really mindless violence for the sake of mindless
violence while wrapped in a thin layer of plot. Still, for some sick reason, I
did giggle whenever a masked goon got their booby trap comeuppance.
Watch this if you want to see an ultra-violent version
of Home Alone with a deadly female MacGyver lead.
Alright now onto what is described as being part serial
killer and thriller. This is “American Mary.”
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