Well the poster seems creepy..... |
The
Tall Man- First off
this has nothing to do with Angus Scrimm, which would
have made this a much better film.
Alright here we
go. The Tall Man is a legend about a gut that steals kids. The town of Cold Rock
has a child abduction problem. Well that is along with the town being a desolate
dump where everyone is unemployed and poor. I guess a mine shut down or
something. Anyway, the town nurse Julia lives with her baby sitter/maid and her
son. Her husband is dead and was the town doctor. One night her son is nabbed by
the Tall Man and Julia gives chase. After a rousing bit of highway chicanery the
Tall Man gets away. She is saved by an F.B.I. agent and taken back to town.
While recovering at the diner she discovers that….there is an altar to her son
and other missing kids. Weird. She is the bolts to find the Tall Man and her
son. After some shenanigans she finds her son and the Tall Man, who is not a man
but…….wait…..a lady! A lady that is the mother of Julia’s son! Yeah I’m spoiling
this film for anyone reading this, but it is for a good reason. See Julia is not
the mother of her son. Julia, the maid/sitter and her not dead husband have been
stealing the kids from town. Her husband faked his death to become the Tall Man.
Julia scouts poor, troubled and down on their luck kids. Her husband then
abducts them and gives them to well off and deserving families who want
children. Julia of course gets caught and takes the fall for her husband.
Meanwhile, he can go around and snatch kids to give away to other people. All
this for the greater good? What the hell is happening here?
"Wait don't run! This gets movie better! Why are you still leaving? Come back!" |
This movie was
just a steaming pile of turd! Seriously I am supposed to care about who here?
The kids? The poor drunk family they introduce? I’m supposed to cheer for the
child snatchers? What the hell did I even just watch? I was expecting some
creepy kid catcher who made them into lamps or something. Maybe something
demonic or super evil that ate kids for power. I did not think it was going to
be a super lame attempt at twisted social commentary about children and bad
homes. Uggh!
The plot of the
Phantasm movies make more sense than this film, and they have proper Tall Man
too!
Watch this
if…..no frak that! Never watch this! It
is just a steaming pile of hot garbage. Why did this show up in the horror
section on Netflix? There was nothing even remotely thrilling, scary or gross
here.
Next on the list, a name I haven’t heard in a long time. A
long time.
“Waxwork.”
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