Pinhead is in the matrix, and better than Matrix 2 |
Hellraiser: Hellworld- I had no idea
Pinhead and the crew had turned to multiplayer online games. Who knew? This is
the basis for more wacky cenobite adventures in Hellraiser: Hellworld.
Alright the
short and skinny of this film is…..circle of six friends playing Hellraiser-ish video game. One friend way too addicted and
kills himself. Now the main four riends mourn and one
friend blames then. Who cares and three of the remaining five keep playing the
game. Jump ahead two years and the same friends are still playing, minus blonde
girl and finger of shame guy who blames them for death of buddy. Wait what is
this? Everyone gets invited to video game party at creepy old house/looney bin! Cue crazy drunk dance and sexy party at looney bin house. Hey everyone Lance Henricksen is the host of the party and is super creepy
(like he always is). Even the finger of shame guy is there for a meet-cute with
some rando piece of tail. While at this party the host
(creepy Lance) shows the group around. Strange he ignored everyone else. Creepy
house is creepy. Now start the seeing stuff, creepy visions, lost people, doom,
scary noises, blood, cenobites and eventual death of three of the five friends.
Yet nobody at the party seems to notice. Hmmm….that is strange. Cut to chase now
and the party host is the dad of the suicide friend. He has drugged the kiddos
and actually buried them alive and has been messing with them. See there were no
cenobites and this is all a father’s revenge scheme. Eventually two of the five
are saved by cops who received an anonymous tip from the ghost of
suicide guy.
Meanwhile the host/dad is safe and sound going through his son’s
belongings. Wait…he finds that fancy fun box we all know and love. He of course
solves it and here comes Pinhead and crew to punish him.
The cast looking lame and bored, just like the film! |
By the beard of
Zeus that was a lot of crap I just threw out there! This looked better than the
previous two Hellraiser movies, but the story was, if this is possible, worse. The end wasn’t even that “What a twist!” ending.
This was just
another drek cenobite story. Even the few kills that
Pinhead and Co. have are just lame and lazy. Seriously, he takes a cleaver and cuts a
dude’s head off. That is just weak sauce for a guy that once thrived on tearing
souls apart.
A revenge story that is weak with subtle hints of ghosts and demons
is all this is. It is very weak and nowhere near what I though
from a title that has the word Hellworld in
it.
If you want to
see a Hellraiser themed version of “I know What You
Did Last Summer,” then this is the movie for you!
Ok! My final Hellraiser review and I imagine the last I'll ever watch, Hellraiser: Deader.
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