Thursday, October 16, 2014

Halloween movie time! Hellraiser: Hellworld

Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005)
Pinhead is in the matrix, and  better than Matrix 2

Hellraiser: Hellworld- I had no idea Pinhead and the crew had turned to multiplayer online games. Who knew? This is the basis for more wacky cenobite adventures in Hellraiser: Hellworld.

Alright the short and skinny of this film is… of six friends playing Hellraiser-ish video game. One friend way too addicted and kills himself. Now the main four riends mourn and one friend blames then. Who cares and three of the remaining five keep playing the game. Jump ahead two years and the same friends are still playing, minus blonde girl and finger of shame guy who blames them for death of buddy. Wait what is this? Everyone gets invited to video game party at creepy old house/looney bin! Cue crazy drunk dance and sexy party at looney bin house. Hey everyone Lance Henricksen is the host of the party and is super creepy (like he always is). Even the finger of shame guy is there for a meet-cute with some rando piece of tail. While at this party the host (creepy Lance) shows the group around. Strange he ignored everyone else. Creepy house is creepy. Now start the seeing stuff, creepy visions, lost people, doom, scary noises, blood, cenobites and eventual death of three of the five friends. Yet nobody at the party seems to notice. Hmmm….that is strange. Cut to chase now and the party host is the dad of the suicide friend. He has drugged the kiddos and actually buried them alive and has been messing with them. See there were no cenobites and this is all a father’s revenge scheme. Eventually two of the five are saved by cops who received  an anonymous tip from the ghost of suicide guy. 

Meanwhile the host/dad is safe and sound going through his son’s belongings. Wait…he finds that fancy fun box we all know and love. He of course solves it and here comes Pinhead and crew to punish him.

The cast looking lame and bored, just like the film!

By the beard of Zeus that was a lot of crap I just threw out there! This looked better than the previous two Hellraiser movies, but the story was, if this is possible, worse. The end wasn’t even that “What a twist!” ending.

This was just another drek cenobite story. Even the few kills that Pinhead and Co. have are just lame and lazy. Seriously, he takes a cleaver and cuts a dude’s head off. That is just weak sauce for a guy that once thrived on tearing souls apart. 

A revenge story that is weak with subtle hints of ghosts and demons is all this is. It is very weak and nowhere near what I  though from a title that has the word Hellworld in it.

If you want to see a Hellraiser themed version of “I know What You Did Last Summer,” then this is the movie for you! 

Ok! My final Hellraiser review and I imagine the last I'll ever watch, Hellraiser: Deader.

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