HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

What a fun punk'in patch! Bad kitty!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!!!

Well another day before a great night! The grill is ready to keep us warm as we hand out treats. Plus it is ideal for the creation of smores for us while kiddes are grabbing treats!

The yard gargoyle has a creepy green spotlight on it for tonite. We have glowing eyes to put in the shrubbery. The pumpkins are ready!

Halloween movie time! Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy

The final film in my Halloween month movie review thing I’m doing. It is a doozy!

 

Never Sleep Again: The Elm Street Legacy- Well this documentary clocks in at four hours. Yeah four frakking hours! Yet it never seems to drag. This is a complete look at the Nightmare on Elm Street series and everything surrounding it. Well it doesn’t cover that Michael Bay produced abysmal piece of shit remake. That is never mentioned, and for good reason!

Heather Langenkamp, or Nancy Thompson from Elm Street 1 and 3, narrates us through this four hour journey. It starts with Wes Craven’s original concept, the rise of New Line Cinema, all seven Elm Street films, Freddy vs. Jason, all the Krueger-mania and the eventual fall of New Line Cinema.

Halloween movie time! Night of the Creeps

Night of the Creeps- Holy crap is this movie just full of awesome!

We start with a space battle and some alien canister falling to Earth in 1959. This alien canister opens and a fast moving slug jumps into some goon’s mouth who is out on a date. This turns him into a creepy zombie! Jump ahead to modern day (1986-ish) and two guys ( Chris and J.C.) in college pulling a fraternity prank in hopes of pledging. Just grab a corpse from the morgue (which every college has). Strangely enough the infected goon from 1959 is frozen in a super science lab. The same science lab that these two guys go into hoping to nab a corpse. Of course the corpse is thawed and the alien slug inside wakes up and escapes. Now we have slugs jumping in mouths all over the place. Zombies being created from an entire fraternity on formal night and sorority house as a target for these zombie slug boyfriends. It is up to Chris ,sorority girl Cynthia and police detective Ray Cameron to stop the zombie slug invasion on campus.

Halloween movie time! The Texas Chainsaw Massacre II

The Texas Chaisaw Massacre II- This is a coming of age love story about a young brute named Bubba, or Leatherface, and his first awkward attempt at love.

Props to having a poster that mimics the Breakfast Club!

Ever since I saw The Texas Chainsaw Massacre it has held a special and creepy place in my heart. That movie is just so creepy, scary, wyrd and great on so many levels. I never went near the sequels (but I had the misfortune of seeing a reboot and prequel). Now I have mustered the stupid courage to sit through the first sequel to the original film.

This movie is garbage! Hot and wet garbage! What the frak did I just watch?

Dennis Hopper (yeah Dennis Hopper is in this) is aformer sheriff on the look-out for the people that killed his niece and nephew. These were two of the kids in the first film. He recruits a DJ called Stretch to play a tape of a recent drive by chainsawing incident. This is to lure out the killers. Of course this does and her comes Leatherface and his buddy …..Chop Top (his name in the credits and one of the most annoying characters ever on screen) to capture, torture and kill this girl. Instead Leatherface falls in love with her? She is nabbed and taken to an underground tunnel system below some kind of closed battlefield amusement park place. Now she has to survive this crazy cannibal family, hope Dennis Hopper can rescue her, not become food, not get sexually assaulted by a chainsaw, survive the endless chainsaw gyrating dance that Leatherface does or worse not become the girl who helps Leatherface lose his virginity.

Oh boy………

This is how Leatherface flirts?

Halloween movie time! Waxwork

Alright! I’m diving back into the 80’s for some horror schlock and awe!

Waxwork- All of a sudden a wax museum opens in this any town America. The proprietor invites some high school ( I think they are supposed to be in high school but look 25-30) kids for a midnight showing. Only six people may come, no more and no less is the only request for the showing.

Billy (from Gremlins) and his buddies show up and are shown around the museum that is full of scenes of torture, killing, famous killers both real and fictional. A little too real. When the group walk, fall or  get pushed into the displays the scenes come alive. They are sucked into the story being portrayed. These all have a tragic and violent ending, which is what the owner of the museum needs. See if all the displays get filled with real victims, then the wax monsters can become real and will walk the Earth. It is all part of a deal with Old Scratch and some wonky items that house evil power and of course are all part of the displays. It is up to Billy and his "not girlfriend" to survive and save the day!

This guy is awesome and so is his demise!

Halloween movie time! The Tall Man

Well the poster seems creepy.....

The Tall Man- First off this has nothing to do with Angus Scrimm, which would have made this a much better film.

Alright here we go. The Tall Man is a legend about a gut that steals kids. The town of Cold Rock has a child abduction problem. Well that is along with the town being a desolate dump where everyone is unemployed and poor. I guess a mine shut down or something. Anyway, the town nurse Julia lives with her baby sitter/maid and her son. Her husband is dead and was the town doctor. One night her son is nabbed by the Tall Man and Julia gives chase. After a rousing bit of highway chicanery the Tall Man gets away. She is saved by an F.B.I. agent and taken back to town. While recovering at the diner she discovers that….there is an altar to her son and other missing kids. Weird. She is the bolts to find the Tall Man and her son. After some shenanigans she finds her son and the Tall Man, who is not a man but…….wait…..a lady! A lady that is the mother of Julia’s son! Yeah I’m spoiling this film for anyone reading this, but it is for a good reason. See Julia is not the mother of her son. Julia, the maid/sitter and her not dead husband have been stealing the kids from town. Her husband faked his death to become the Tall Man. Julia scouts poor, troubled and down on their luck kids. Her husband then abducts them and gives them to well off and deserving families who want children. Julia of course gets caught and takes the fall for her husband. Meanwhile, he can go around and snatch kids to give away to other people. All this for the greater good? What the hell is happening here?

Halloween movie time! American Mary

American Mary- Mary wants to be a surgeon and is having trouble paying for med school. One night she hits a strip club looking for a job and then gets pulled into situation where a doctor is needed to sew up some goon. She discovers she can make a living doing trippy body modification and under the table surgery. Now we throw in: a quasi-obsessed strip club owner, a living doll non-plastic doll,  her Betty Boop voiced friend, a bouncer with a heart of gold, creepy bitey twins, a rapey sex party, a non-killing serial surgeon and some revenge. Wait what?

A blog to check out.

This guy, Travis Falligant, is an illustrator and is doing some fun stuff this month. A 31 day horror sketch project count down.
He also has Scooby Doo and the gang meeting modern day villains and monsters: Captain Spaulding, Partick Bateman, Monster Squad, Elvira, Leatherface, Chucky, Micheal Myers, Gary Busey, the Evil Dead, and many more!

IBTrav - Travis Falligant  (click the highlighter)


Good stuff for this month and beyond. Check him and his out.

Halloween movie time! You're Next

You're Next- 

“Hey baby you’re the one. Let’s go to a mansion in the middle of nowhere and have a wedding anniversary dinner party with my family. Nothing could possible derail this night.”

Well that is until a trio of silent and animal masked goons show up to crossbow, axe and machete the family to death. Welcome to “You’re Next.”

The Davidsons are getting together for family time and then become hapless victims in a kill crazed bloody orgy. Well that might be a little bit too much.  Guys wearing bleached out masks of a kitty, lamb and wolf just begin killing off the Davidson family. There is all manner of crossbow death, axe to heads, neck slashing, screw driver poking and near beheading. It is a pretty bloody affair.

Halloween movie time! Hellraiser : Deader

Hellraiser: Deader- Amy Klein is a journalist (with a comical smoking habit) and has been sent to Bucharest after watching video tape about a resurrection cult called the Deaders. The leader of this cult (whose name is Winter) has members kill themselves and then he brings them back to life.

Once in Bucharest (which is fun to say) Amy tracks down the video owner/mailer and finds her…of course dead and holding that familiar gold puzzle box we know and love! She makes sure to open the box, because who wouldn’t?!This starts the waking dream bit that is ever so popular. Is this all real or not? You know that old song and dance.

Amy eventually find the Deaders and Winter. Who is an ancient relative of the original puzzle box maker. This means he has the ability to bring people back to life? Sure. Whatever. This Deader cult is also annoying the cenobites as the people dying are not going to hell for his pleasure. Pinhead wants Amy to fix the problem so he can go being able to play with the Deaders who have cheated death. Whatever will Amy Klein do?

Well creepy dead girl looks creepy and dead.....

Nurgle Halloween

Probably my favorite of these three!

The Maggot Lords could not have come out a better time! These guys are just bonkers! They are equal parts gross and imposing. How could I not think them awesome!?

While I'm not a huge fan of the Nurgle Knights and their ridiculous prices, I do lobe the maggot lords.

They are crazy big sculpts and add a lot of character to an already gross fun army. Besides tongue belly and nurgling belly, I'm not a super fan of these guys. 

Way too many tentacles for a follwer of Nurgle. this guy belongs in the Tzeencth/Hentai stable.

Halloween movie time! Hellraiser: Hellworld

Pinhead is in the matrix, and  better than Matrix 2

Hellraiser: Hellworld- I had no idea Pinhead and the crew had turned to multiplayer online games. Who knew? This is the basis for more wacky cenobite adventures in Hellraiser: Hellworld.

Alright the short and skinny of this film is…..circle of six friends playing Hellraiser-ish video game. One friend way too addicted and kills himself. Now the main four riends mourn and one friend blames then. Who cares and three of the remaining five keep playing the game. Jump ahead two years and the same friends are still playing, minus blonde girl and finger of shame guy who blames them for death of buddy. Wait what is this? Everyone gets invited to video game party at creepy old house/looney bin! Cue crazy drunk dance and sexy party at looney bin house. Hey everyone Lance Henricksen is the host of the party and is super creepy (like he always is). Even the finger of shame guy is there for a meet-cute with some rando piece of tail. While at this party the host (creepy Lance) shows the group around. Strange he ignored everyone else. Creepy house is creepy. Now start the seeing stuff, creepy visions, lost people, doom, scary noises, blood, cenobites and eventual death of three of the five friends. Yet nobody at the party seems to notice. Hmmm….that is strange. Cut to chase now and the party host is the dad of the suicide friend. He has drugged the kiddos and actually buried them alive and has been messing with them. See there were no cenobites and this is all a father’s revenge scheme. Eventually two of the five are saved by cops who received  an anonymous tip from the ghost of suicide guy. 

Meanwhile the host/dad is safe and sound going through his son’s belongings. Wait…he finds that fancy fun box we all know and love. He of course solves it and here comes Pinhead and crew to punish him.

The cast looking lame and bored, just like the film!

Halloween movie time! Hellraiser:Hellseeker

Hellraiser: Hellseeker- Trevor is a shady businessman (is everyone in the Hellraiser universe shady?) who survives a car accident that apparently kills his wife Kirsty. Hmmm…. she looks mighty familiar. Trevor drives the car into a bridge (and doesn’t care. “I crashed my car into a bridge, I watched, I let it burn.” That song is my jam!) and it plunges into the river below along with his wife. Trevor survives, but where is the body of his wife?

Jump ahead a month and Trevor has amnesia and is in the hospital. Trevor now is the prime suspect in a murder case, is juggling three women (besides his wife) cannot tell fantasy from reality and there is this familiar puzzle box in his possession. That means…yup he is going to fiddle with and open the box. Now we get Pinhead showing Trevor that his wife is alive and that he is a philanderer, liar and general scumbag. So….Trevor tries to save his own skin by trading Kirsty’s soul for his. This is what lead to the car crash in the beginning.

Halloween movie time! Hellraiser: Inferno

Hellraiser: Inferno-  A series of grisly and ritualistic murders are occurring and Joseph Thorne (a pretty shady police detective) is on the case. A puzzle box is found and of course officer Joseph solves it. I guess that by opening this box it will help him solve the case? This leads him down a path to the killer who is known as “The Engineer.” This “Engineer” in turn kidnaps a kid, begins leaving kid fingers behind at crime scenes, kills off Joseph’s friends and taunts him at every turn. This drives Joe a bit nutty. He starts seeing demons, is subjected to brutal physical and psychological torments.

Walking Dead Season 5

A few hours out from the premiere of this season of  The Walking Dead. For the first time in the run of this show I am not super excited about it. Sure I'll watch and enjoy the squishy zombies, but I am just not excited about anything else. 

Could this be the end of me caring about Rick and his buddies? Have all the changes between the comic and the show finally gotten to me? 

Here is hoping what drew me into the show season one comes back because I love me some zombie stuff. I just am very meh! with this zombie stuff right now.

Halloween movie time! Lords of Salem

Lords of Salem- Is a spooky tale about witch revenge. Well I think that is what I took away from this.

The film tells a story about a coven that is caught and torture killed by a witch hunter and his crew. Then jump ahead to modern times and Heidi, a radio DJ, is sent a box containing a record -- a "gift from the Lords."  What sounds like a really awful band is this chanting and sound played backwards I guess. Anyway, this record sound/noise triggers trippy dreams and violent flashbacks. These  are either about the violent past of the town or have Heidi seeing all sorts of nonsense. Add in a trio of ladies in her apartment who have little tea time gatherings and must be up to no good. Heidi seems to be being groomed for something greater as the movie goes along. There is a guy who studies the whole Salem witch trials and witch hunters who seems to be unraveling the nonsense around the Lords and their album of noise. Eventually the plan of  “The Lords”  and the trio of tea time women comes to fruition, I guess. Heidi transcends into some kind of Christ-like uber witch and a ton of the ladies in town go kill crazy and off others themselves or both.

Halloween movie time. The Bay

The Bay-

A mocumentary about a small town on…a bay! A nearby chicken farm is spilling waste and chems into the water. This leads to small parasite aquatic isopods (- pic-) becoming huge and aggressive. Throw in a desalinization plant as well. Now townsfolk are swimming and drinking the larvae of these guys. One fine day the little bugs start rapid growing inside and eating through the townsfolk. Seriously they all start to grow and eat people in one damn day!? One summer afternoon all this happens? Really? Really?

All this is shot via fraking found footage and handy shaky cam. Which is poison and needs to stop! Curse you found footage and shaky cameras! A further curse upon The Blair Witch Project for setting this precedent!

Halloween month again!

Well October is here and it’s time for my yearly rundown of stuff.

This year I have decided to cram as many horror movies as possible into my tiny bit of free time. Thanks to Netflixia, Goddess of Temporal Production Devouring, I will have a descent amount of streaming horror goodness (or probably badness) to view.

Anything I watch I must finish. I will give myself one caveat, if it looks like a SyFy original then I will bail on it and quick! I will try and watch movies I have heard absolutely nothing about or those that I have a teeny tiny knowledge. Now if there is a film I have deemed “classic” or have not seen in forever, then I will sure as hell watch that instead. I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid! I am hoping that there are a few noteworthy films and not all just low budget drek. 

I am hoping to get through a bunch of movies and get quick little reviews of them out there.

This year Halloween month is about the unknown (unknown to me and mine) horror, thriller, creepy or ghostly films.

The first selection….. The Bay.

1st Circle rock monster

Well look at this odd fellow. The Wold Wyrd is part laser gun, part rock monster, part tree and looks like a non-edible jumbo shrimp.