Thursday, April 30, 2015

Weekly schlock and Meh!

“Here comes the fuzz.”
Lou Garou, (yeah the wolf jokes start early) is a cop in the small town of Woodhaven. A town that has cops but they don’t seem to do anything or really care. We see this a s Lou drives to work and we see: street beatings, spray paint vandals and a mugging all being done in in the open and in broad daylight. 
So….Woodhaven has some issues, and the cops don’t care? Well Lou doesn’t as he spends a majority of the film in the local pub, Jessica’s Bar.
I should mention officer Lou is a next level alcoholic. I’m not sure a normal human can consume that much booze over time (as we learn he has had a drinking problem for years) and still function. Seriously, his whole diet is alcohol. It is ridiculous!

Now there have been some animal slayings and the chief wants Lou to investigate. I mean with all the other crime going on why not investigate some heavy metal wanna-be Satan worshipping cat killers? Officer Lou goes to investigate after some prompting from his kooky buddy, and gun store owner, Willie Higgins. Now, they stumble upon a  creepy ceremony run by robed figures and Lou is knocked out  and awakens to find a pentagram carved into his chest. He doesn’t get concerned and goes about his daily business of being a drunk.
Leo Fafard places Lou Garou, a cop who becomes a werewolf in the howlingly awful Wolfcop.
The next full moon Lou of course turns and we get a wolfman/cop/alpha level drunk who is going to clean up the town! He now has to solve the mystery of who these robed figures are, what they are up to and some other bit about an unsolved shooting incident/murder. All the while being unphased about being a werewolf and an alcohol chundering machine.
(heavy sigh)

Well this was a movie that did involve the police and a werewolf. I cannot discredit that. However, it is not good. It is bad.  It sadly does not make it to good/bad, but it comes so damn close.

Alright, this is low budget and Canadian. Is this a thing now? It is horror and comedy, yet again, that doesn’t really mix or work. Sure there are some puns and a lot of goofy shit, but it is never really funny. There is a horror element, but that mostly involves a lot of blood and a smattering of death/destruction. Wolf Cop really tries with throwing a lot of blood around and there is one fantastic face removal/ screaming skull scene. However, that really isn’t enough. The same goes for the comedy. There are wolf puns and some jokes that just fall flat. The comedy bits are super weak, forced or have that beaten to death horse feeling.

The premise for this film is equal parts insanely stupid and awesome. Then, add in the fact that none of this is taken seriously and you have the making of a great good/bad movie. Finally, sprinkle in some over the top blood/action and some great dialogue and then you have a winner. Wolf Cop doesn’t get all this done. There is even a few BEWBS that appear during a werewolf sex scene. Which is just a bit creepy to see a werewolf and hot chick/ body double going at it. Yet there is not that one event, sequence, person, etc. that drives this to the next level of awesome.
Yup this happens, werewolf sexy time!

Wolf Cop gets the “We Try Harder!” award, but falls just short of a perfect good/bad film.

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