Tuesday, June 7, 2016


The original Doom was entertaining. The second Doom was just as fun if not more. I passed on the third version for greener pastures.

Now I have returned to play Doom once again.
Damn it all! It feels like I never left.

Well it looks like the U.A.C. (Union Aerospace Corp.) is at it again on their Mars facility. They are doing that whole bit where they access Hell to use the energies there for science stuff, energy problems on Earth and weaponized them for the military. Well it all goes sideways when one scientist, Olivia Pierce, decides to make a pact with the demons and opens a portal to Hell. This of course causes the facility to be over-run. The workers are all killed or possessed. The power of Hell is loose on Mars. I wonder how it will all be stopped?

Well thankfully while on one of the various Hell safaris they discovered a sarcophagus containing the “Hell Slayer.” The last guy to rampage through the dark realms who kicked whole sale demon ass. That is who you play a supped-up version of the guy from the original game, a not space marine, a not Master  Chief and yet all of these together. You have to fight your way to thorough and out of Hell to save the day.

That is a big rundown of the plot. I guess I could have said you are a dude who gets to shoot demon monsters from Hell through multiple levels of awesome!

Well it isn’t a Doom game without a plethora of weapon choices; pistol, shotgun, super shotgun, chaingun, rocket launcher, plasma rife, and more. The trusty chainsaw is back, but as an off weapon that will insta-kill and enemy if you have enough fuel. The BFG returns as well, but it only carries two rounds; but man are they worth it!
For some reason this was a main weapon once I found it.

There are two firing modes for each weapon , and they are all upgradeable (sans the BFG and chainsaw). You can also upgrade your armor, life, ammo count and the suit you wear. All this while trying to navigate the levels full of baddies.

The baddies are all reboots of the original monsters; imps, possessed soldiers, mancubus, revenants, lost souls, cacodemons, cyber demons and more. They all have their own special ways of making the gam both fun and wildly irritating. Especially the hell knight (in the early stages ), pinky and the damned summoners.
Still they all look good and die in the most glorious ways possible.

Early on I really hated these guys!
Then these pink bumper cars showed up for a new level of annoyance.

Speaking of death there is the ability to “Glory Kill” your foes. When a goon is about dead they stagger a bit and flash blue. This is your chance to run up and do a simple melee attack on them. This triggers a little in game cut scene where you dispatch them by: punching off their head, feeding them their explosive innards, beating them to death with their arm. Tearing off a leg to crush their head, curb stomping them, tearing out their eye and then punching their brain and so much more. It is bloody, disturbing and just all kinds of hilarious awesome!

Soooooo much blood!

Doom was a damn good time, but it was not without some issues for me. First there was a bit of platform-ish annoyance. I have jumping around platforms , tower and such. It was never difficult, it was just annoying. The levels were chock full of secret stuff that ranged from useless toy collectables, hidden levels form the original game to unlock too useful upgrades.

WOW! I found... a worthless doll!

There were bonus challenge levels/games hidden through the levels as well. These were either  fairly simple or wildly annoying. They consist of timed events with weapon limitations. If you pass said challenge then you unlock a demonic rune to equip that can give a minor buff. I don’t think they were really as helpful as they looked to be. Still it is something to do in game. I did find them all, but did not finish all the challenges. Three of them were just rage inducing annoying and I knew better to stop and walk away after a few attempts.

A floating demon rune thing?
Well I better touch it!

This game also has a map editor to make your own levels for people to play. These range from pee-pee stupid easy to unnecessary annoyingly difficult. So far I have found no middles ground with these yet. There is also multi-player, but I’m not sure I’ll go near that. I can only take twitchy squeaker tweakers calling me gay, tea-bagging, or hearing “BOOM (insert pharse)” so many times. I’m not sure if this happening in the multi-player, but I imagine some form of it is. Doesn’t it always?

Doom is a damn fun game. It is a great return to the franchise. It feels more like a sequel to Doom 2 if you are going by story. The visuals are awesome! The landscapes of Hell are just great stuff for fans of horror and fantasy. The game play is fast. The combat is fulfilling. The chainsaw is a delight, but needs more fuel! The blood and guts is just a thing of beauty and hilarity. But……I wouldn’t recommend buying it though.


Well it is really short and there is little re-playability unless you like the multi-player. This single player game is short. Like 10 hours-ish short. Maybe longer if you are a trying to find everything. Granted I had just finished the Witcher and Fallout 4 prior so I am used to dumping 100+ hours into a game, I am used to way longer game play. The game went really quick. Sure I could play it on a harder level, beat it and repeat, but that is not really that appealing.

Doom level or rando death metal band cover?

If you can borrow it do that. If you can Game Fly it then do.  It is worth a play. It is stupid mindless fun. Just really not $60 worth of mindless fun.

Now to try and find something else to play through……

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