Friday, August 14, 2015

Weekly schlock and....drek!

The 80’s was a glorious time! Wasn’t it? Along with superb action movies it also gave us some great science movies: Back to the Future, Altered States, Real Genius, Weird Science…ummm….Space Camp..hmmm…Dreamscape…D.A.R.Y.L…..Short Circuit?....Zapped!? Well there were a few good science movies during the 80’s and some that fell short.
My Science Project came out the same year as Weird Science and Real Genius, but seems to have been forgotten. That was until I had a vague memory of it and sought it out for review. By vague memory I mean, “ Hey does anyone remember a movie with a dinosaur in a high school?”
The film opens with a U.F.O. crashing and the military deciding to hide it. I’m not sure if this was supposed to be the whole Roswell scenario, but that is what it basically was.
This guy.....
Then it jumps to present day (1980 something). Here we are thrust into a high school where the cool car guy, Michael (every school had/has that guy), is getting dumped. He is also going to fail science unless he aces his  upcoming science project. Oh yeah, his science teacher is Dennis Hopper. The now single Michael and the year book nerdy girl, he takes pity on, head out on a date to the local military junk yard? Whatever. While there Mike falls into some underground room and discovers a lightning orb (like totally from Spencers in the mall) wedged inside not a toaster oven. He nabs it to turn in as his science project. WHAT?! This leads, of course, to Dennis Hopper messing with the machine and discovering that not only does it absorb energy  but it also opens a time warp. This leads to the local high school filling up strange architecture, lots of fog, Roman gladiators, the Viet Cong, a T-Rex and some future techno mutant guys. Mike, his buddy from Brooklyn , Vince ( played by Fisher Stevens! ) ,the nerdy year book girl and some other guy; have to shut down the time warp space ship lightning ball toaster oven.
...made this for science class?
I know it sounds really awesome, but man oh man was this movie bad!
80's nerds. They were in everything weren't they.

How the frak is a guy bombing science going to pass a piece of alien tech of as a science project? Why have Fisher Stevens play a character from Brooklyn while in the Southwestern U.S.? A military junk yard? Why is that date night? Dennis Hopper is in this. Did he lose a bet or was he on such a bender he would do any film? Did I really just watch a car out run electricity? Why does a local hardware store carry dynamite? Seriously!
Lightning effects either means ghosts, magic or science is happening in the 80's.
It doesn’t help that this movie, for 90 odd minutes, is incredibly slow. Nothing really happens until the last 40 minutes, when the school is full of wibbly wobbly timey wimey stuff. This is when time lines merge and we have high school kids fighting gladiators and a dinosaur. Hell, even then it isn’t that exciting or really even fun.
The story feels like a rejected Outer Limits script.
There is one saving grace. The T-Rex does look good. Yes, it isn’t Jurassic Park T-Rex good, but this is 1980 something. You would expect some claymation Land o’ the Lost looking dinosaur. It the best part of this crap-tacular film, and that is bad! 

My Science Project is a terrible movie. It fails to even be fun/bad. 

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