Friday, March 20, 2015

Weekly schlock and HOLY CRAP WHAT IS THIS!?!?!

Iron Sky (2012) Poster

This could very well be the pinnacle of schlock. I stayed away long enough from this movie. It popped up in 2012 and the premise piqued my interest. Yet, I stayed away out of fear. Oh no, not fear from how bad it would be, but fear of if I might actually like it.
What film could it be?
Iron Sky.
Why was I interested? Well the premise involves Nazis on the moon.
How did I stay away this long?

Nazi moon base
It seems at the end of WWII some Nazis escaped to space. They landed on the moon, made a swastika shaped base, started mining Helium 3 (which the moon is full of) and appointed a…wait…..a Moon Fuhrer! Don’t worry, it only gets more ridiculous from there! Jump ahead to 2018 and a new moon landing is progress. Why? Well the president is using it as a campaign booster. That sounds logical. Well the astronauts stumble upon a moon base and they are killed, except for one and he isn’t even an astronaut. He is a model, James Washington, who was sent along to garner presidential ratings. Oh by the way, he is a black dude and that is just a great time for humor at the expense of the moon Nazis.
While on the moon James is turned white guy, more like a creepy albino, by a textbook crazy Nazi doctor. He is then sent back to Earth along with two officers to gather cell phones. What? Yeah, cell phones! See the moon Nazis have a giant invasion ship but they cannot get it to fly. They don’t have the computer power to do it. A single modern cell phone has enough computer juice to activate the ship for a small amount of time. So…..the Moon Fuhrer wants more cell phone technology to further their cause and help invade Earth. Will the Nazis raise their giant space ship to invade? Will the Earth unite to stop the Moon Nazi menace? Why did the President of the U.S.A. hire Nazi officers to lead her campaign? Did everyone forget world history? Will James Washington remain a white dude? Can anyone stop the madness of the Moon Fuhrer and the Fourth Reich? By the gods this is just amazing drivel!
I hate Illinois.....I mean moon Nazis.
Holy crap, there are a lot of issues here.
This movie is supposed to be funny. Well at times is supposed to be funny I guess. Sadly, it is not. The humor is really dated. Yes I know it is 2015 and this is a 2012 film. However, for a 2012 film the jokes were already a few years old. There a lot of digs at Sarah Palin. Since the President of the U.S. is a take on her. Wasn’t the world over making fun of her by 2012. If this had been a 2008/2010 release it would have at least been a more relevant attempt at humor. There a couple of underwear gags always hilarious! A black dude meets WWII Nazis. Hilarity ensues! There are cracks at pop culture and various foreign countries that make an attempt at humor. However, these jibes are not made cleverly. They were not as smart or funny as they could have or wanted to be. I have found more humor in a later episode of the Simpsons than I did here.

Iron Sky
We get it heavy handed Palin joke and it just keeps going.
There are a crazy amount of inconsistencies in this film. Those crazy Nazis need cell phones to power their ships, but are able to fly to Earth without incident. Wait they built space ships, but still use a computer the size of a small house? The Nazis have developed space flight, but still use WWII projectile weapons? The Earth was completely taken by surprise by the attack from space. How? I guess any type of advanced warning systems were also forgotten about. It takes mere minutes to fly from the moon to the Earth and back. The planet seems completely unaware of the events in the sky, space and the moon despite the giant battle with planes vs. space ships. A black model/astronaut becomes white and instantly becomes a filthy long haired hobo after being back on Earth for a few days. How? Why?
Hey the acting….well is lame. The only role that seemed to work was Udo Kier as the Moon Fuhrer. Sadly it was a very small role, but he fit the part perfectly.
There is a love story that is pointless drivel.
Is there any redeeming quality in the movie? Ummm…… wait…..well….
The CGI. Seriously, for a low budget movie it looks good. It was a complete surprise. I was expecting ships on strings or bad 80’s green screen. Besides that, there is not a lot to get excited about or enjoy.
This movie is just crap! The description and premise did entice me with its absurdity (SERIOUSLY HOW DOES ONE HATE THE IDEA OF MOON NAZIS!?) and I can only blame myself as usual for sitting through it. A real shame because in the right hands this had the potential for a bit of satire or humor of any variety.



  1. Oh gawd I'm gonna hafta watch this naow.
    I've been sorta avoiding it too.
    After a review like that, could I not?

  2. The sad bit is that I wil probably see the sequel eventually. Hitler on aT-Rex?
    What the Hell!?