Thursday, June 4, 2015

Westeros, I have picked a side

Who should sit here?

When Game o’ Thrones started on the HBO I was hooked almost instantly. I found myself backing the Starks, mostly due to Sean Bean, when it came to the turmoil in Westeros. Well that didn’t last, due to the fact that the Starks didn’t last.

So much potential.....

I was then thrown into a spiral of just not siding with any one person or group. I mean was I supposed to root for the despicable incest family, the creep-o running the whore house, the jerk who has a crazy ginger telling him what to do, the weirdoes who hunt and skin people, the men in black who live at a wall, the lady and her non-pet dragons and army of eunuchs, the non-arabs, the crazy lady and her breast feeding son, the little girl out for revenge, a bunch of frozen wasteland Vikings, the crippled animal psychic and his mentally challenged human mount (or Game o’ Thrones Master Blaster)? There really isn’t a group I truly care about anymore.

Sure I should have chosen the dragon lady, but since her horse Klingon husband died, she isn’t nearly as cool. Plus her dragons are drek. She has the version of the nuclear option in this world and cannot use or control it. I keep wanting some awesome dragon stuff to occur and it rarely ever does. The dragon stuff has become too much of a tease and it will remain that way for gods know how long. I mean if they could just fly over with three dragons and burn all the a-holes to cinders, then what would be the point right? Well besides ending all this quibbling and having a definitive winner and end. I know how shallow and pedantic.

 Oh, your kids are rambunctious? Daenerys Targaryen tries to tame dragons.
This is in my wheelhouse, but nothing good has come from it.

Well, all this has changed thanks to the episode from Sunday night, Hardhome. This was your typical episode until the last 15-20 minutes. This is where I finally chose my side.

On Game Of Thrones, Recruiting Followers Is Hard...Unless You're A Wight
White Walker version of a microphone drop

I am now supporting and cheering for the White Walkers (or “Others” for the egg heads who like their booky books) and their undead army! I want this force to slaughter and chop to bits all the members of the various Westeros family houses and anyone else who gets in the way.

Why these guys? Well that is easy.

First, how can you dislike an army of the dead? It is simple. You cannot. I guess it is my inner necromancer speaking here, but an army of undead soldiers is fantastic! They are easily becoming the best part of the show. They have done more than the other mythical creature in this world ( looking at you dire wolves and dragons). They have had more on screen time as well. They make the “walkers” on AMC look inane. They are utterly relentless and have a penchant for comically hacking away at their foes. Plus they even employ undead kids, which ups the creep factor a ton.

Second, they are led by a bunch of undead pale guys with icicle weapons, strange armor, creepy powers and even zombie mounts. These guys are nigh unkillable. Well outside of the rare pieced of sharp obsidian, non-magical magical steel and I can only assume one day dragon fire. Plus everyone that their army kills, they can bring back to un-life and replenish their ranks. This makes them pretty damn cool and more bad ass than their living counterparts.

Third, when I have no good guys to care about, then I will cheer on the villain. Sometimes the bad guys are just cooler and we want them to win: Vader, Hannibal Lectre, Pinhead, Godzilla, Jason, Freddy, Bobba Fett, etc. It is no different in Westeros. I say let the winter come and let the dead wipe out everyone in their path.

I now cheer for the White Walkers, their army of dead folk to wipe this fantasy realm clean of the living. If they cannot accomplish that, well then at least go out all blaze o’ glory.

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