Saturday pre-game story

A small panel slid open on the door. A pair of dark beady eyes stared out into the city street.

“Passwurd?” the eyes asked.

“Nimble foot.” The cloaked figure in the street replied.

The panel slid shut and the door slowly opened. The figure on the street was instantly hit with an overpowering aroma of cinnamon, acrid smoke and the stench of unwashed bodies. He pulled a handkerchief from his pocket and covered his nose and mouth as he entered the building.

“Boss is upstairs. Look’n to see you.” said the eyes behind the door. They belonged to a grimy dwarf standing on a small box.

The cloaked figure he was talking to nodded and made his way through the room. A room that was home to numerous couches, soft lounge chairs and the occasional pile of huge floor pillows and elaborate rugs.

He shook his head as he looked upon the patrons lying about on the various soft bits of furniture. He was always disgusted by them. These people that came to forget their lives and chase drug fueled dreams. They lay in a stupor and squalor while riding a smoke filled wave of euphoria.

“Lousy Obsucra addicts.” he mumbled under his breath as he navigated through the room and headed to the upstairs office.

The office was populated by two men. One a large elaborately clothed human and the other an even larger man who might be equal parts human and ogre from his look and size.

They both looked up as the cloaked figure approached.

Book report time or.....

...DO WHAT HANDY SAYS!

Another short list of books I moved through this month. All 40K related stories again and another quick rundown of them

Damnation of Pythos

 

Another in the Horus Hersey series that deals with the fallout of the Istvaan battle. Just what we needed after Unremembered Empire and Vengeful Spirit, more moping about the treachery in the Istvaan system. Ugh!

Here we get a group of Iron Hands that have survived along with a smattering of Salamanders and Raven Guard. They are escaping through the universal warp storm and end up on Pythos. A crazy death world where the flora and fauna both love them some killing and the associated blood involved. So…there is a battle on the planet with Marines fighting killer reptiles and plants that love blood.

 

Then a ship full of crazy humans shows up and lands. They go about starting a small settlement. They tend to die a lot and love it! Throw in a creepy underground building that is full of crazy stuff too. This all leads to the reveal that the crazy human travelers are Davinites and they are trying to summon the chaos powers. You know that old chestnut.

 

It all becomes tedious with the Iron Hands moping over the death of their daddy, or being dicks to the Salamanders, Raven Guard, and every human on the planet. The reveal isn’t much of a reveal either. You know exactly what these people are doing. It is a pretty lame novel. Hell, it should have been a short story in one of those anthology Hours books. It is way longer than it needed to be. The characters are all drek. The action isn’t really anything special. It just another speed bump in this series that keeps refusing to get to the point. If there is a redeeming quality, and a tiny one at that, it is that it ended like I hoped it would. The good guys lose and lose badly! Chaos rises and destroys everything Imperial on this world. That was the only satisfying bit of this story.

 

There. Now there you have no reason to read this book.

 

Zombie, Ghost, Robot?

I had bought two of these Machine Wraiths for a previous Machine Minds build. 

Well now that no longer exists, but I still have wraiths to paint.

The first guy is done.

Nothing uber-special just metal, rags and a bit of bone.

Better late than....

My special lady had ordered this for my birthday and it got here last night.

A Cthulhu/ Miskatonic University hockey jersey

Done by the guy at Geeky Hockey Jerseys, I am a fan of their work. 

If you follow my ramblings over the years you know this.

They do really fun stuff there. 

Geeky Jerseys store link

Stranger Things?

Stranger Things is a new series on Netflix. I had heard nothing about this, until Monday. Then I was told by three people to check it out.

After one episode I was pretty much hooked.

The basic plot...well a boy disappears mysteriously, his mother, a sheriff, and his circle of friends must confront strange forces to get him back.

Well there is a lot more than that.

The story involves a small town in 1983. A shady not government yet government agency. A small law enforcement agency. An alternate dimension that is not unlike the Shadow Fell. A group of four pre-teen friends. A lost little girl with mind powers. A missing son and friend. There is also a creepy monster. Mix this all together and you get a fulfilling story with a heavy sci-fi plot.

Mix this all together and you get a damn descent show spaced over a paltry eight episodes.

Why did people tell me to watch this show and why did it drag me into it?

Simple.

It is filled with so much stuff I enjoy and it is the biggest love letter to the 80’s cinema.

MKIII Cryx changes for me.

Well I dove through the new Cryx cards and compared them to what models I use and have in some sort of completion.

Many models gained…..

Strength of Death- a rule on many models that defines the use of soul tokens to boost attacks/damage. This just clearly defines what they already could do with soul tokens.

Iron Lich Asphyxious-  -1 SPD. Hellfire spell now negates Tough ability. Teleport spell distance reduced to 6” from 8”. New spell Spectral Leech removed D3 focus/fury from an enemy model.  Basically he stayed the same. The loss of 2” on teleport  sucks. The new leech spell can be useful for denying those camped focus for damage reduction on opposing casters or damage transfers to warlocks. Still looks to be my go to warcaster.

My wish list- Don’t change his feat.

Witch Coven of Garlghast- +1 ARM. Perfect Conjunction ability now allows for a single witch to have auto boosted spell attacks and spell damage. Gone is the -1 cost to spells. Well the rest of them and the Eyegore stay basically the same. A shame as these ladies could have used a minor tune-up to make them more appealing. The fact Shadow Bind is shakable makes it virtually useless for the stuff you want to use it against.

My wish list- New feat. +1 DEF.

Richard Roeper reviews Ghostbusters

I only like about three movie critics. 

Richard Roeper is one of them. 

His Ghostbusters review and the response to it afterward.

I will still stay away from this movie based on the fact it is another soulless reboot of a film that is near and dear to me.

That doesn't make me misogynist. I could care less who they used in this film. I wouldn't have seen it.

After this week and nest it really won't matter either with Star Trek and the new Jason Biourne movies en route will anyone even remember or care about Ghostbusters 2016?

Lets hope not.

Lets also hope that this lazy Hollwood reboot of fan favorite movies stops.

Weekly schlock and future sports!

NO!

Is there anything better than a bad remake from a bad original movie?

Well actually….yes. There is a ton of stuff to watch that is better than an bad remake of a bad movie.

Let me rephrase that. What is better than a bad movie? An even worse remake!

I watched the 2002 Rollerball. Holy crap snacks was it “awesome!” By that I mean damn near unwatchable levels of bad.

1975. Rollerball is released. It covers a dystopian future where population control, politics and various minor world issues are solved by a violent game of roller derby/ hand hockey. See the teams of this sport are owned by giant corporations that somehow solve problems when their team, wins at Rollerball.  There is also a social commentary bit on sports/media violence and the masses. Added to is a bit of personal achievements being squashed by the big guy. This is set in the approaching year 2018.

Typical Rollerball team!
What is going on here?

Is the movie good? Not really. However, one can see what the movie was trying to achieve in a round about way. It still was a pretty bad movie.

Then along comes 2002 and the remake of Rollerball.
This movie makes the original look like a damn Oscar winning film.

Bloats done

I always liked the idea of a walking sludge bag mortar. I just was always on the fence to get them.

When Mobius was released I was super keen to finally have a reason to add some Bloat Thralls.
I nabbed two of them and finally sat down to paint them

Sassy Satyxis

Three horned ladies with dual magic pistols enroute for Cryx.

2016 the year of the gun mage for all factions?

Not sure if I'll buy into them, but the sculpts will look fun and that is a bit of an issue for me. Shouldn't they look more stone cold killer and not so much sass?

Does it really matter? 

Nope.

Descent or tricksie rules and  they will be in a lot of lists.

The Legend of Tarzan review

Well I do love me a good B-movie and I do love me some pulp action stories come to life. The new Legend of Tarzan is pretty much that.

Pretty much.

Alright we are introduced to one Captain Leon Rom who is after the fabled diamonds of Opar. To get these all he has to do is deliver Tarzan to the tribal chief Mbonga. This guy either runs the Opar region or has control of the diamonds there or something. At the same time we are told how Belgium runs the Congo and are exploiting the crap out of it and enslaving the people there. This leads to Samuel Jackson to try and recruit one Lord Clayton III ,or Tarzan as everyone knows him, to go on a fact finding trip to the Congo to see about the slavery issues there. Well isn’t that timely since Leon Rom wants to kidnap Tarzan at the same time. This of course leads to the capture of Mrs. Tarzan/Jane and the inevitable action adventure to rescue her, save the region and stop the bad guy.

Well was The Legend of Tarzan any good then?

Yes and no.

MKIII Circle changes for me

Alright I spent a fair amount of time diving through the new stat cards for my Circle Orboros druids. I was intrigued by changes to some units and confused by changes to others. I glanced over everything and then dove into the changes to the models I currently use.

These are the changes to what I use or is in production. I didn’t bother with models still in packages waiting to be assembled. Thankfully that number has dwindled greatly. Yes we play much smaller games than most people, so my list will be fairly short.

My initial wish list hope will be in green.

KAYA THE WILDBORN-  My only warlock. She gained +1 strength, +1 ARM and that was it. Her spell list is identical. Her feat changed to allow any amount of fury to be placed on beasties instead of up to three. She is basically the exact same as before. That is good and a bit sad too. Of course I wanted something to make her more badass. Isn’t that what we all want for our favorite models? Yes it is. Still she will play exactly like she did last edition. No viable complaint here.

Wish list- was really hoping for +1 fury, new spell,  make her on par with the other Hordes "beast casters", please don’t take away living warbeast bonus to hit

ARGUS- -1 speed, -1 DEF, -1 ARM, -1 CMD range. The animus is now Doppler Bark which gives a defense de-buff to models within 2”. Circular vison now just ignores the back strike bonus to hit. The hit to speed, ARM and DEF sucks! Like damn it really sucks! If they were universally unused why make them easier to hit and wound? The animus change was needed. The loss of the ranged attack is fine. I have three of these guys and am one of the only people to give them so much love. They still have their combo attack and that makes for a descent bit of damage.

Wish list- new animus

FERAL WARPWOLF-  +1 spirit, +1 mind, -4 CMD range. Gained the Primal animus. So this guy got a couple boxes of extra health and a new animus. I’m totally fine with this. This guy stays the same with a tiny bit more longevity and an animus I’m not super excited to ever use. Especially on a three attack heavy.

Wish list- new animus

PUREBLOOD WARPWOLF- -2 spirit, +4 body, -1 CMD range. Lost the leadership ability Ghostly for all warpwolves. Gained assault. Well more health boxes is swell. Assault is descent as well. Sadly the RAT on this guy is terrible so the breath weapon will rarely ever hit without help. Doesn’t really bring much to the table that a Feral Warpwolf can’t do more or better.

Wish list- +1 point stronger attack or better MAT/RAT

Post game- Suffer not the witch to live....

....or capture her for more money!

Well our duo became a trio last Saturday night. Ren the monk and Reginald the barbarian were accompanied by Jeffery the dragonborn thief.

They were “recruited” by a group of witch hunters  to aid in the location and capture of a coven of hideous dark power worshipping, black art practicing witches. By recruited I mean paid to help since the hiring faction was already busy with a witch issue of their own.

This lead them to a previously visited location and a revelation about said location. It seems the inn they previously thought ransacked by some goony monster was actually set upon by this coven of hag-ish ladies. See they have been travelling the countryside causing havoc, draining the life-force from the natural world to fuel their powers and abilities.

Now knowing what to look for they followed a trail to a small farm. The farmers and family had been zombified and the witch responsible was still there practicing some sort of augury with the use of the livestock’s innards. Ewwww.

After a minor tussle the group dispatched the recently dead and destroyed their first witch.

They continued on to discover a small  hillside cave that was home to three more of the foul ladies. Once inside they fell under a strange enchantment that masked the true shape and form of the cavern and the ladies within it. Jeffery was enticed by the smell of sweets, safety and the love of a strangely dragonborn looking grandmother. Ren saw a grand and elaborate castle with all manner of pomp and circumstance within it. There was even a female member of some royal family awaiting him to reward his actions. Reginald’s barbarian sense was tingling and he wasn’t fooled.

After several minutes of trying to persuade Ren, who wasn’t believing a thing being said, Reginald decided to take action. Thankfully by then the witches’ trap had been sprung! The three ladies had ambushed them and battle was slowly joined. Jeffery had to escape his bonds. Ren had to shake the cobwebs out of his head and Reginald got to killin’ stuff.

July 4th!

Happy Birthday America!

Now eat some awesome bad food and blow shit up to celebrate!

Gaming pre-op news!

Witch Hunters. The men who have the task of tracking down those deemed too evil and unworthy of their magical talents.  When a wielder of magic turns to harming the innocent, nature or the civilized world the Witch Hunters arrive to rectify the situation.

Many are valiant warriors looking to keep the forces of dark magic at bay. Others are ex-military looking for work after being released from duty. Some are the ultra-pious hoping to cleanse the world of darkness. Then there are the thugs that are looking for cheap thrills, revenge, or to inflict misery on their prey.

It seems that a band of these gentlemen have ridden into Stonekeep looking for information. They are seeking a trio of witches that have been moving Northwest from the Twilight Marshes.  Rumors have started that strange occurrences have begun along the River Metedras. Several small farms in the Homestead region have found foully dismembered livestock. People have gone missing. Small roadside inns and taverns have been found empty with nothing but blood and foul symbols remaining. Small regions of wilderness have just begun to rot away.

There is a foul sickness is running through the Midland Realm and several bands of Witch Hunters have been dispatched to find the cause of it.

They aim to capture, judge and cleanse any witch, warlock or dark wizard they can. Be wary all practitioners of magic, for the Witch Hunters are about and could deem you worthy of a short drop and sudden stop.