Thursday, January 22, 2015

Schlock and awe movie time!

Alright! Wolf Creek! I have heard it touted as an Australian Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Last House on the Left. It is also “based” on true events. Well how could I pass up that?
Three twenty-something’s (Ben, Kristi and Liz) are driving across Australia. Along the way they decide to go for a hike at the Wolf Creek national park. There is a sweet crater there to check out. When they return to their car it will not start. Uh oh! Now what? Well along comes a guy, Mick, in a truck who can give them a tow to his camp and fix their car. This seems sketchy, but this guy seems like a nice bloke or a Australian version of a redneck is how I saw him. He is friendly, calm and gives off a quasi- simpleton feel. They of course agree and off they go  to his abandoned mining camp. Once there he treats them to some stories, a fire, food and water. This is where this road trip goes all akimbo.
wolf 9
Hooray! Party then lets drive across country! What could go wrong?

How could this guy be bad? He looks like a backwoods charmer.

Ok then. Wolf Creek is two movies in one. The first is an hour of driving and getting to know these three people. It is incredibly slow and boring. I will say it was a minor miracle that I continued watching after minute 40. I’m talking real slow and pretty damn tedious. I guess I was supposed to get to really know the characters and like them. I can’t say that I really liked them, but that doesn’t mean I wanted something terrible to happen to them either.
Forget that! He's a psycho!

Alright, then the terrible stuff happens. You see, Mick has slipped something into their water and everyone goes to sleep We only know this after everyone wakes up to see the situation has gone all akimbo. Mick has been helping people that have “magically” broken down cars for some time. He leads them back to his little mining camp and then dispatches them. Horribly. Mick is a complete sadist whack-job who likes to slow kill/torture some ladies and use dudes as food for pets.
Is there a saving grace anywhere? I’m not really sure. It isn’t filmed with a frakin’ handy cam. That is a plus. The outdoor scenes are big and creepy expansive. That whole fear of openness and nothingness going on there. There is still some of the horror cliché that is bothersome. At least here wasn’t a cell phone without service in here. There was a lot more put on tension than gore. I wasn’t expecting that. After reading a few bits about the violence in this I walked in thinking typical slash –fest. The torture stuff is torture stuff and I can see where some can draw a line between this and Texas Chainsaw Massacre. I however did not see it that way. I saw it as creepy guy lies to torture people and then dispatch them for some unknown sick reason. I actually was surprised by the ending with how the rest of the movie was going. Good for you small budget Australian horror film!
Now the actual events this film are based on are not really similar. Yes there was a couple that were attacked by a nutter on the highway in Australia. There are people that go missing in the Australian outback every year. Add this together and we get the “based” on actual events.
Always fun to add to give the drones something to think is real when they watch it.
Wolf Creek is….well….it is not terrible, but not good. This is a sloooooooooow burn to get to the creepy bits. I guess the look and ending made it watchable for me. I guess the lady face punching and stabbing will make it watchable for others. You know who you are. You sickies!


  1. Nah, man- horror flicks need more than 3 victims! At least the average Friday the 13th came stock with like a crew of ten or so ready-to-cut fools for Jason to play with, and 'character development be damned!
    But hey, at least this flic seemed to be trying a different approach, but I can't do torture porn like Hostel and stuff. I don't enjoy watching women get brutalized. I just don't consider that 'entertainment.'

    I really do love these reviews. So much fun!
    OhGawd I may haz issues. Lolz.
    But sometimes a bad movie is just so awesome.

  2. I don't condone the brutalizing of the ladies, but it is it is the bread and butter of the majority of horror flicks.

    Bad movies are bad and that is good! Right!?