Sometimes fantasy goes wrong.

When it comes to fantasy movies there will always be the greats: Conan the Barbarian, Highlander, The Dark Crystal, Beastmaster, Flash Gordon, the Harry Potter movies, the Lord of the Rings movies (minus the end of Return), the Clash of the Titans (original) and the first Narnia movie. However, for all the good these movies bring there are the others that destroy them: Deathstalker, Conan the Destroyer, Legend, Krull, The Barbarians, Highlander II, Clash of the Titans 2010 and dare I say the name… may the gods be merciful on me for invoking this name.....…..Red Sonja.

I now have another to add to the list of bad, Your Highness. I like cheesy fantasy and all that, but this movie was awful. I really like Danny McBride, James Franco and Natalie Portman. I also happily admit I like dick and fart jokes. That being said there must be a way to make fantasy funny with “toilet” humor. Sadly, Your Highness isn’t it. It was a fantasy setting and then they beat you about the head, neck and chest with f-bombs, cock jokes and such just because they could. Where other movies and t.v. shows use this humor correctly, Your Highness used it for the sake of using it. It was a weird attempt at merging D&D, South Park and slacker comedy. It fails at all of them.

Hell, it took me three tries to even finish it. I’m still not sure why I kept watching. I guess I was hoping that it would get funny. I had watched Pineapple Express a day earlier and l like a lot of that movie. I saw Your Highness on HBO and figured why not. It seemed similar. I like fantasy. I love Kenny Powers. Natalie Portman doesn't offend me in any way, shape or form.James Franco was great on Freaks and Geeks. Why not give this a go. I remember I passed this by when it was in the theaters. I should have passed over it again.

Yeah there is a plot about a wizard, two brothers, a quest and all that, but it really isn’t worth trying to remember. All I can really remember is a Minotaur hard-on, a pedophile Yoda-ish wizard, Natalie Portman’s butt, wait......there was a wizard, and Major Winters from Band of Brothers was there as well. That is all I came away with after watching this cinematic pile of cow flop.

There are many who probably liked this film. I am nowhere close to one of those people. It was complete drek and I’m pretty sure I’ve become not so smarter from seeing it. Look there is proof the film has soured my mind grapes.