X-men 4 aka. The Wolverine

Marvel has made some really fun movies as of late. The merry band of Avenger movies are all very entertaining. They have set an example of good comic book fun. However, what they have done to the mutant movies is a travesty. The Wolverine is another in a slew of bad X-Men movies, and that saddens me.

The Old Canukelhead  became one of my favorite X-Men as I grew up reading them. Then he appeared on the big screen and Hugh Jackman did great job in the role. Then the X movies continued to flow, and get worse  and worse.

The Wolverine is a new tale that takes place after the events of the abysmal X-Men 3. Logan is a hermit and then gets found by a Japanese girl, Yukio, and brought to Japan to pay his last respects to Yashida (an old WWII buddy). Here we have a take on some of the famous (or infamous) Wolverine in Japan stories. I found these slow and boring, and I wasn’t disappointed when the same happened in the movie.

Anyhoo…..Wolvie goes to Japan, falls in love with Yosida’s daughter (duh), loses his healing factor (due to a Matrix-esqe bug implant and poison), battles roving Yakuza, runs afoul of some non-Hand ninjas, runs into the still ultra lame Viper, fights a Silver Samurai mech and experiences a lot of flashbacks and dream sequences. It sounds alright doesn’t it? Well it isn’t.

The story has a bad pacing. There are too many slow bits that just drag. The action sequences are hardly better. They are either super frantic and nauseating or just lame. Why can’t we get good action with a steady camera? Please Hollywood do this for us. You can convey fast and frantic without spinning the camera everywhere while people leap about. I know you can. Even the big bad final showdown fight is short and boring.

Then there are the myriad of issues that set this X-Men fanboy on edge. Wolverine loses his healing factor, but he doesn’t, but he does. Well he has situational healing loss. He can pop claws and then instantly heal, and then he gets shot, and is limping for several scenes. He is full of adamantium and can still move and function with his healing factor keeping the much ballyhooed adamantium poisoning at bay. Silver Samurai is a dude in armor and not a mech/robot guy. Although I appreciate the robot, it just felt contrived. A guy in armor that is a hardcore samurai is one thing a samurai robot should be facing Iron Man. Viper is lame and I wish they didn’t use her as a villain. It takes a special breed to turn a C-list villain into something special, and that was not here for her. They could have worked Lady Deathstrike into the movie instead of Viper. It would have made a bit more sense. Wait, no…they sort of wasted her in X-Men 2. Why no Hand ninjas? They are Marvel’s go to evil ninja clan. Too much Jean Grey stuff here too. They ruined her and almost the francise with X-Men 3. Why drag it back into the light? Bad dream sequence! Bad! Go lay down!

I was not a fan of The Wolverine. The positives are that Hugh Jackman is still a spot on Logan, and it was better than the Wolverine Origin movie, but that is not a much of a positive. This movie might be for someone, but it sure as hell wasn't me.