Thursday, March 8, 2018

Monsters: Modrons

No! Just all the no!
I guess these guys come from the plane of Mechanus ( or what was once Nirvana ).  A place of  pure law, order and for some reason cog wheels. I guess if you are a lawful neutral character when you die this is where you go. Then you are surrounded by these idiot looking creatures.

I hate these things! I mean I really just loathe the very idea of them.

First, look at them. They look utterly ridiculous! I mean geometric shapes with limbs? How stupid is that?

I mean how much of a phoned in look for a monster is that? I guess some creator had a creative block and began doodling a box and then threw arms, leg and a face on it. He then repeated it with a circle and a triangle. EUERKA! He had his new monster idea and somehow sold other people on it. It isn’t only a stupid look, but it is lazy too.


Second, is the fact they are pure law and order creatures. I have no use for them. I mean unless my party members were wholly evil and a threat to the universal system of law and order. Then these guys could show up to try to thwart them. That or I have the party investigate Mechanus for some idiot reason and the Modrons attack them in defense?  Wait! I could have them go rouge for some reason and then party can fight out of control geometric shapes.

I have no use for law and order monsters. I mean outside of a mostly evil party what is the point of lawful good or neutral good monsters? None!  if you are asking me.

Then there is the whole Plane of ( insert name here ). I have no want, time or need to send a party to any other plane of existence. I was born a Prime Material Plane DM and I’ll die a Prime Material Plane DM! I abhor dealing with planar travel. I don’t want to try and create a game in some other plane where everything is beyond wyrd for no other reason than being wyrd. Modrons come from some cogwheel super law dimension. By the gods that sounds even dumber than somewhere like the Plane of Water. You know where everything is water! A cogwheel land of by the book geometric cops is nowhere I want to send a party or create a game!
I hate these guys! I hate their look! I hate their rigid hierarchy! I hate their dimension! I hate their backstory!

Modrons are not the dumbest creatures in the D&D world, but they are easily top five for me!
Deep breath…….


Next time I’ll killer puddles and goop. The slimy stuff that frightens a lot of players because they have no idea what it does or how to kill it.

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