A final deep dive into the ocean again to view a film of deep horror and such.
Let us return to simpler times in the year 1998.
Our course is plotted and be prepared as it is “Full scream ahead” and “This ain’t no pleasure cruise.” (as the movie taglines state). Let our journey begin.
I give you Deep Rising.
PLOT
The Arognautica is the best, biggest, most expensive, luxurious and all the other descriptors cruise ship in the world. It is taking its maiden voyage full of fancy dressed patrons (who are probably Monopoly man rich based on their look and attire).
Jump over to a small boat speeding through the night. The captain is one John Finnegan, who is not Han Solo, but is totally supposed to be Han Solo. He is transporting a bad of shady stereotypes, lead by one Mr. Hanover, to an undisclosed location somewhere out in the ocean. He is getting paid so he does not care who or what they are about. Why? Well because as long as they pay him and leave his crew alone he does not care.
Back on the Argonautica, one Trillion St. James ( by the gods did I really just hear and type that name??) is a sexy and sultry pickpocket. She is off to rob the Aronautica's patrons and the small room of safety deposit boxes that this boat has for some insane reason.
Next comes the act of a faceless saboteur on the poorly named cruise ship. I guess they want to stop it dead in the water for some reason. it is achieved by breaking CD's from the ship's computer or some nonsense. The boat stops abruptly.
Trillion is nabbed while trying to rob the bank vault on the boat and tossed in the "brig", which is a fridge full of food?
Finnegan discovers that the goons he is transporting are armed with really cool guns, some torpedoes and bad attitudes. They soon arrive at the desired location a giant boat sitting still in the middle of the ocean. Well look at that! The Aronautica! Hanover and his stereotype goons board the ship to rob it......but they find it devoid of people, flooded in parts, full of strange noises and occasionally bloody remnants. What happened?
Well soon enough that is answered!
The goon squad is slowly picked off by an unseen menace in the water. Trillion St. James is found freed to become the Leia to Finnegan's Han. The Argonautica owner is found and was the one to stop the ship and hire Hanover to scuttle it for the insurance money.Well this all exciting and all that, but what about the goons that were killed? What happened there?
Well we soon discover that a bunch of bitey tentacles are moving through the ship. They are grabbing people and gobbling them up. It seems that the ship is infested with these and they are responsible for eating the crew, patrons and now the cast of thieving goons. These "things" grab a victim, swallow them, basically drink them and then barf out a slimy skeleton and extra bits. Expect a lot of grabbing and pulling of people backwards once the monsters arrive. Well that and chase scenes of grates and pipes bursting and giant CGI tentacle snakes slithering quickly down hallways. It all seems like shots from various films I have seen over the years.
Anyway....Now Finnegan, Trillion and a handful of others have to try and escape with their lives and eventually face down the tentacle monsters. Who will survive? Who really cares? What are these tentacle creatures and what are they attached too?
What am I watching? Is it horror? Is it action? Is it a heist movie? Is it a comedy?
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We found the crew and guests! |