Thursday, May 25, 2017

Alien Covenant

Alien Covenant

The next movie about our favorite twin mouthed acid blood having silicon based lifeform is back in theaters. This time though there is more going on than the standard people find egg, egg hatches, alien bursts forth, insanity ensues, girl crew member saves the day.

Well……there is all that going on but more too!

The human colony ship, Covenant, is on a long ass space mission to land and colonize a planet Origae-6. It is Oregon trail in space!!!!!! Anyway along the way the ship is damaged and they happen to discover a much closer and just as habitable Earth-like planet. Well of course everyone expect one person wants to check it out and maybe just colonize there instead. Off goes the landing party sans red shirts, but totally full of red shirt characters.

What a pretty world! Nothing could go wrong here.

Once on this new planet they find sustainable plant life, water, no animals and a ship that we have all see multiple times. Yup, there is a Navigator ship crashed here. Well exploration starts. Then a couple crew members run afoul of some spore producing flora. Well of course these spores are alien eggy spores and soon enough there are bodies breaking open to unleash bitey albino versions of the xenomorph we all love!

As the crew is being attacked by a pair of these creatures a robed figure arrives to save them and bring them to a strange alien city, that has more of a necropolis vibe. Who is this stranger?

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Well stop reading if you don’t want to know! Just go see the movie!

Hooray! Blood!

Well it is David, the synthetic from Prometheus all fixed. He has been living on this world for 10 years studying and such. Cue flashback of his arrival where he wiped out the population of Navigators with the black oil goo from Prometheus. What else has he been doing here? Well of course he has been genetically engineering a better alien monster to use to wipeout humanity. Why? Well he issues with his creator/daddy. It seems he issues with not being able to create anything/anyone himself. So…he knows he can create these critter to be the monster we all know and love. Then I guess he wants to unleash them in the cosmos to kill everything but him and them. It is a wonky plan to say the least.

Go save the day Ripley, I mean not not Ripley!

Now it becomes a fight to survive the alien critters, David the robot and the giant storm around the planet. Will man, machine or silicone based twin mouth monster win the day?

What is good?
There is some great gore here and I have missed that from the Alien franchise.
Fanboys also will finally get an answer to backstory of the alien species. Yes if you have been wanting to know, it is finally answered where/how these critters came to be.
Michael Fasssbender is still a creepy synthetic and a good villain.
Danny McBride isn’t Danny McBride.
The ending is fun even if you can see it coming beforehand.
Aliens really hate windshield and windows!

So much spittle.

What is bad?
The inconsistency of how long it takes a chest burster to reach maturity is still and issue.
Could have done without the extended synthetic flute lesson.
How does robot hair grow?
Why don’t aliens hate/destroy robots?
A James Franco cameo? Was that really necessary?

What is neutral?
Well if you hate horror movie tropes when it comes to characters you’ll probably hate it. Yes, the crew does dumb stuff like every character in a horror movie.
Yes, it is annoying, but without it then nothing would happen and it would be a damn short film.

Alien Covenant is a welcome addition to the Alien franchise.
It is weaker than Alien or Aliens. However, it was way way better than Alien3, Alien Resurrection or the two Alien and Predator films.
I am one of the few people who didn’t hate Prometheus. Which means, since Alien Covenant is sequel to that movie, I liked this movie too.
 I’m not sure where this franchise goes from here. It is and isn’t left open for another film. 

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