Monday, July 28, 2014

I'm not mad at Hercules....

...I'm just so disappointed!

I went in knowing this wasn't going to be Oscar winning. I knew that it was going to be a high priced B movie. I even went knowing Brett Ratner touched this film. What I didn't know is that the trailers cover all the stuff I wanted to see, and that happens in the first 5-10 minutes. Good job marketing department! You got me!

Yup the coolness of the 12 Labors is what I thought this was going to cover. I mean the damn trailer showed the Lernaean Hydra, the Erymanthian Boar, Cerebrus, and the Nemean Lion. This is why I went. How awesome to see Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson as Herc fighting all these guys!

Yeah that didn't happen.

Yeah the premise is that all the stuff Hercules did was bullshit. See he was a big dude that fought people and never died. He survived all these suicide army missions and people started telling stories about him. Along the way he picks up a retinue of warrior specialists and forms the Hercules A-Team. They go around as mercs for hire. 

So not as cool as the trailers.

Herc and his buddies go tot help John Hurt fight off a some guy named after peanut butter cups and his army. Then we get twist that Herc helped the wrong guy and has to save the day. Along the way he decides he is the son of Zeus and does all this crazy strong man stuff. So he is and isn't a demi-god.

Yeah that was crap!
Wait..this is Hercules?

The plot was pretty drek. The idea that Herc is just a dude with a crazy rep was blah. His little A-Team was lame, minus the non-elf girl archer. She was bad ass! The upside, I guess, is that this movie doesn't take itself too seriously. There is some attempt at dry humor. The action is standard fare, except when The Rock is fighting, then it is over the top crazy bonkers. Like press slamming a horse awesome crazy bonkers! That was some good hilarity! Rufus Sewell has the best lines and was pretty enjoyable. He fell right into the role of "that guy" from every B movie.

I wanted a Hercules origin story with the 12 Labors, or even just the six really cool ones. Instead I got the bait and switch. Good job once again movie marketers. You got me and my money. However, I'll do what I can to stop anyone else from going.

Stay away from Hercules! What you have been show his all that needs to be seen. Watch the trailer and just imagine that The Rock spends all movie fighting mythological creatures. You'll have a much better thime.

No comments:

Post a Comment