IT the book review

……or “Cocaine is a powerful drug.”

I decided to sit down and read “It” since I have seen both movie incarnations.

A giant 1100+ page novel by Stephen King.

He started writing the book in 1981.

This was published in 1986.

These where the Stephen King booze, cocaine and pill years.

Oh yeah, I have Stephen King Alzheimer’s. I read his stuff and forget that I really don’t enjoy 90% of them. Yet I still pick up a story of his and try again forgetting everything I dislike about his writing.

PLOT

A quick hit here as everybody should have some idea by now what this is about.

Alright this is a story about an entity that awakens every 27-28 years in the small town of Derry, Maine. Once awake it feeds on kids (mostly) by turning their fears into reality. This It primarily appears in the guise of a clown  known as Pennywise, before turning into something else to attack and devour prey.

The story is set between two time periods 1958 and 1986. It follows a group of kids as they survive the killer clown in 1958 and then return 28 years later to face It again.

THOUGHTS

I.

Hate.

This.

Book.

Seriously, go see the new movie and enjoy. Don’t read this giant turd! I never say see the movie when it is based on a book. The book is always better. Well not this time. The movie hits all the fun high points and moves along rather well.

This book first is just too damn long and slow. If 700 pages were cut from this it would be a good tight story. Instead there are just pages upon pages of needless description. Entire chapters of needless information and character building that are unnecessary. There is so much unneeded world building in this book that leads to nothing.

Seriously did I need so much information about Stan Uris, how he met his wife, their lives and everything else before we get to the scene where he kills himself? NO!

Do I need the annotated histories of Derry, Maine? Maybe one quick hit that the town is wyrd and bad. Then stop!

Do I need the intricate little details of every person place and thing in this town? NO!

Do I want scary creepy wyrd stuff with a clown monster and terrorized kids? Yes!

Did I get that? Well for about 400 hundred pages sprinkled through the novel.

Just too much fat that needed to be trimmed but nobody would tell Stephen King to do that.

“It” jumps around too much for me almost like the writer couldn’t keep his mind on the story. Almost like the writer kept walking away and then returning. Almost like a guy hopped up on booze and drugs was writing this over five years. There were times when I was churning with a chapter and then the book would sharp turn to something else, or worse slam on the brakes and just stop. Was this stop and go pacing necessary? I know all this did was take me out of the story and slow me down.

Then there is the horror and scary of the story. Well…I’m still waiting for it. There is nothing in here that was scary at all. There was a tiny bit of disturbing namely the Patrick Hockstetter backstory. That was a real bit of good disturbing. There is nothing in this book that I would call scary. Nothing there to make me look under the bed at night or make sure my closet door is completely shut. A few pages of disturbing child behavior and a sociopathic kid do not a scary story make. Where is the horror Mr. master of horror. This book was horrifyingly long and slow. Does that count? BLERG!

Then there is the final bit that I had issue. Well once the Losers Club takes down It in 1958 they pull a train on Beverly. I did not know an 11-12 year old gang bangs was going to happen in this book. I may sound like a prude, but what was that about? I really sat and read about 10 boys throwing it into the one girl in the group because this needed to happen for some story reason? What the shit did I just read? Child gang bang? Really? Was that the horror part of the story?

“It” is just too damn long. There are also just too many Stephen King tropes I don’t need anymore: the bullies, a band of kids, overbearing parental figure, a lecherous father figure, Maine, 1958, dream sequences, innocence over evil, evil is powerful but never as smart as good, an author protagonist, creepy house, many are stronger than one, everything is connected and however many more tropes I have forgotten to mention?

Did I like anything about this novel? Yeah the backstory of It. The idea that this is some cosmic Lovecraftian creature was a nice touch. Plus that without this novel, then maybe we don’t have Stranger Things on Netflix.

Sadly the movie conveys the scary stuff so much better.

The movie is over much faster than reading this book.

The movie is more fun and enjoyable than this book.

The movie is the best parts of the book without all the needless crap story.

The movie is probably the best adaptation of a Stephen King book too.

“It” was not scary.

“It” was too long for no reason.

“It” was really not that good.

“It” was (hopefully) the last Stephen King novel I will ever read. I have been disappointed by him too many times.