Halloween reboot #6 Texas Chainsaw Massacre

This was rough to sit through, but I did it!

VS.

Welcome to 1974.
A pair of siblings and a few friends are on their way to visit a family burial plot and the old homestead. Along the way they pick-up a crazy  hitchhiker and run into a creepy house that is full of crazy white trash cannibals and a pseudo-giant who has an interest in masks of human flesh and choppy power tools.

The original Texas Chainsaw Massacre was unsettling, brutal, atmospheric and very minimal. The filming had a documentary-like feel. You could see family issues, some rural vs. urban 70’s culture happening in a post-Vietnam era I the film. It was scary and creepy without buckets of blood, loud noises and jump scares. Hell there wasn’t even a soundtrack or score. It was banned in some countries, and pulled from theaters. People thought it was based on actual events. It is the progenitor of coming wave of 80’s slasher films. It gave us a fantastic and horrible villain (along with his family)! What could they possibly do to top all this?


Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2003

Driving through Texas, a group of twenty-somethings are headed to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert. Right there that is enough to scare me to death! Anyway, they decide to pick up a traumatized  female stumbling down the road. After this hitchhiker kills herself, the group is a bit troubled. While trying to get help from the authorities they stumble upon…you guess it. A creepy house in the middle of nowhere. Soon the twenty somethings are running for their lives from an evil cop, his family and pseudo-giant with a chainsaw.

Well here I go. Maybe I’ll get through this without a rant. Maybe.

 2003 Leatherface

"Gonna go back in time."

Damn do I love this franchise!

Well it is the day when Doc Brown and Marty McFly arrive in our present time.

Guess the movie was way off about what has happened, what has been invented and how we dress.

At least we don't have to dress like complete a-holes, and it is looking so far (yes it is only game 3 of the series but....) that the Cubs are not going to win the World Series.

Season 6! Season 6!

New Venture Brothers!

So close and yet so far!

Halloween reboot #5 The Hitcher

The Hitcher is a road horror/thriller that involves a dude named Jim travelling across country to return a car. Along the way he runs afoul of a psycho hitchhiker that plays all sorts of horrible and deadly games with Jim. It is a damn fun film you can read my previous review of it 
here....1986 The Hitcher review click here!

VS.

Now along comes a music video director and Michael Bay to repackage and release a new version of The Hitcher.

The Hitcher 2007

Here we meet Grace and Zac who are starting their spring break together to drive across country to…somewhere. Along the way they decide to help a hitchhiker on a rainy night, one John Ryder (played by Sean Bean!). This is, of course, a bad idea as John pulls a knife on them and is quickly thrown out of the car. Problem solved. Right? Wrong of course. Now John Ryder is after the couple and leaving a bunch of bodies in his wake.

Hrrmmmm.

The Hitcher reboot really tries to stay faithful to the original. There are several scenes that are pulled from the original film with only a few minor tweaks. The story also stays faithful to the original for the most part. Hell, my man crush is also in it. I loves me some Sean Bean. All this being said, it is not really good, thrilling or really fun.

Alternate Cryx and Orboros?

Always looking for a reason buy other fun models to count as something else can be a problem for some. For me it is a justification to buy other models. Plus there are times when current models just don’t look stellar and something else does.

Since I play away from stores and tournaments then there is no problem for using counts as models.

For instance the Dust Tactics zombies look a lot more appealing to me for mechanithralls than the current models. Sure the plastic re-sculpts do look better than the metals, but not by much.  However these metal fist wielding zombie Nazis look like a better option. They have the dual metal fists or steam fists mechanithralls have They have active poses that the mechanithralls don’t.

 Hell, they could even pass for mind slave drudges as well. Sure they miss the diving bell helmet, but whateves. The downside is the onesie or coveralls they are wearing. They don’t look as cobbled together as the mechanithralls do. However, this also makes then much easier to paint. Think I might try to find a couple of boxes to get a unit of ten out there.

Halloween reboot #4 I Spit on Your Grave

Well hundreds of years ago I saw this film in what was known as a video store. There it was always tagged with a “Must be 18” tag to rent it. That always intrigued me as what could be so horrible in this film that only viewers the age of 18+ could witness. Since It was rated R, like the majority of horror, why was this movie different.

VS.

I get why this was controversial back in the day and why it was banned in various countries and deemed terrible by the film critic industry. These were factors that drove me to view it.

I Spit on Your Grave (1980) is about a female author name Jennifer who decides to rent a cabin in the country. There she plans on working on a new book. Along the way she attracts the attention of three local hooligans and their dim witted sidekick. They decide it would be a good idea to give Jennifer a good raping. After a series of vicious sexual assaults Jennifer decides to take revenge on these four goons.


I Spit on Your Grave 2010

Not the girl from Twilight, but kind of looks like her from time to time.
Plus she is a better actress, but that isn't saying much.

The reboot follows the same plot. Jennifer returns to write a book, but this time it is a more backwoods area and not somewhere like up state East coast. Here she runs into a group of four hooligans and their dim witted buddy. This of course leads to a series of sexual assaults and Jennifer is left for dead. She then exacts revenge on these fellas, but this time in much more intricate fashion.

The fellas planning their next "date night."

Well, I will first establish that we all know rape and murder are wrong. Nobody should enjoy both. There.

Now these films are nothing but rape and then murder so there.

I have to saw that neither of these films are good. They are both pretty terrible on various levels.

The original version had a gritty and awful realism to it. It made it really creepy as one can imagine that this could happen. The remake, seems a bit more silly in that regard.

Devastation!

New Hordes book in my grubby hands. 

New twist on know warlocks.

New garantuans.

New stuff for all factions.

Off to delve into the story and units.