HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

 

HAVE A HAPPY ONE TODAY AND TONITE!

 



Halloween Horror: Deep Rising (1998)

A final deep dive into the ocean again to view a film of deep horror and such.

Let us return to simpler times in the year 1998.

Our course is plotted and be prepared as it is “Full scream ahead” and “This ain’t no pleasure cruise.” (as the movie taglines state). Let our journey begin.

I give you Deep Rising.

PLOT

The Arognautica is the best, biggest, most expensive, luxurious and all the other descriptors cruise ship in the world. It is taking its maiden voyage full of fancy dressed patrons (who are probably Monopoly man rich based on their look and attire).

Jump over to a small boat speeding through the night. The captain is one John Finnegan, who is not Han Solo, but is totally supposed to be Han Solo. He is transporting a bad of shady stereotypes, lead by one Mr. Hanover, to an undisclosed location somewhere out in the ocean. He is getting paid so he does not care who or what they are about. Why? Well because as long as they pay him and leave his crew alone he does not care.

Back on the Argonautica, one Trillion St. James ( by the gods did I really just hear and type that name??) is a sexy and sultry pickpocket. She is off to rob the Aronautica's patrons and the small room of safety deposit boxes that this boat has for some insane reason.

Next comes the act of a faceless saboteur on the poorly named cruise ship. I guess they want to stop it dead in the water for some reason. it is achieved by breaking CD's from the ship's computer or some nonsense. The boat stops abruptly.

Trillion is nabbed while trying to rob the bank vault on the boat and tossed in the "brig", which is a fridge full of food?

Finnegan discovers that the goons he is transporting are armed with really cool guns, some torpedoes and bad attitudes. They soon arrive at the desired location a giant boat sitting still in the middle of the ocean. Well look at that! The Aronautica! Hanover and his stereotype goons board the ship to rob it......but they find it devoid of people, flooded in parts, full of strange noises and occasionally bloody remnants. What happened?

Well soon enough that is answered!

The goon squad is slowly picked off by an unseen menace in the water. Trillion St. James is found freed to become the Leia to Finnegan's Han. The Argonautica owner is found and was the one to stop the ship and hire Hanover to scuttle it for the insurance money.Well this all exciting and all that, but what about the goons that were killed? What happened there?

Well we soon discover that a bunch of bitey tentacles are moving through the ship. They are grabbing people and gobbling them up. It seems that the ship is infested with these and they are responsible for eating the crew, patrons and now the cast of thieving goons. These "things" grab a victim, swallow them, basically drink them and then barf out a slimy skeleton and extra bits. Expect a lot of grabbing and pulling of people backwards once the monsters arrive. Well that and chase scenes of grates and pipes bursting and giant CGI tentacle snakes slithering quickly down hallways. It all seems like shots from various films I have seen over the years.

Anyway....Now Finnegan, Trillion and a handful of others have to try and escape with their lives and eventually face down the tentacle monsters. Who will survive? Who really cares? What are these tentacle creatures and what are they attached too?

What am I watching? Is it horror? Is it action? Is it a heist movie? Is it a comedy?

We found the crew and guests!

Halloween Horror; DeepStar Six (1989)

Well once again we return to 1989 for another horrifying movie from beneath the water. What is it with 1989 and ocean movies? Seriously this is like the year of ocean movies: Leviathan, DeepStar Six, The Abyss, Lords of the Deep. The Evil Below and The Rift (which actually came in early in 1990 but I’ll toss it in with the 1989 ocean films ). I guess I could have done a whole month on this, but sadly I choose Leviathan and DeepStar Six (base on the fact I have a vague memory of them being in the theaters along with The Abyss).

Anyway……lets us once again sink slowly to the ocean floor to witness DeepStar Six a film with not one but two descriptive taglines.

“Not all aliens come from space.”

“Save your last breath…..to scream.”

PLOT

(quick aside…I will only be speaking in generic terms for the characters in this film so expect a lot of this guy, crew member, girl crew member, doofus guy, etc. you’ll understand why by the end of the review. Thank You)

Welcome to the ocean floor. Here we have a group of engineers living in a underwater habitat, DeepStar Six, for the last six months. This time these people are working for the U.S. Navy and their job is to install nuclear missiles on the ocean floor. Now this is never explained why this is happening, but I should have known better than to ask myself why this needed to be done.

Alright so the crew sets out to find a suitable location to drop a palate of missiles. They choose to send their little two man sub out to find a spot….which is on top of a lava formed cavern millions of years ago. Why not there?  I mean a nice flat spot near the base could work too….but whatever. So yeah they are going to blow up the top of the lava cave and place the missiles on the pile of debris left by it. Wait? What? That… I mean why? Why not just….you know…flat ground….urgh!!!! Whatever.

While exploring said lava cave the little submarine is attacked by something big they only see on the sonar and destroyed. Then said big sonar blip swims over and attacks the DeepStar Six station and destroys the submarine workshop. This leaves the crew in an immediate lurch as they have no little submarines to drive to safety. Well whatever

will the crew do now?

Well they basically forget about the attack, the two dead guys are almost immediately forgotten and they go about trying to still drop this bucket of nukes on the ocean floor. Wait! Weren’t you all just attacked by some big undersea creature? Nobody wants to discuss to deal with that? Nobody? Just want to go back to work on the missile job then? Well ok! They go about this job and of course a doofus crew member accidently sets the self-destruct sequence on them. Whoops! Well of course there is no way to stop this and the missile explode! Now the station is hit by shockwaves from the blast and we have all the required pipes bursting, flooding hallways and shaking one would expect. Now the base is even more wrecked and it looks bleak for the remaining crew. They decide to evacuate the base in the giant escape pods that are still functional. Wait! Why  was the loss of submarines so bad if they have these escape pods

WAIT!!!!! Where is the damn monster that attacked the sub and base before! 2/3 of the movie is over and the creature is still not a major player.

Well let’s get to that!

Dust 1947

I have had the chance to get about six games of Dust 1947 in lately.

The more I play, the more I really like this game.

The rules are light for a tabletop combat game.

There are no crazy stat blacks/ abilities to memorize for units.

Game size of 50 points is easy to field, easy to transport and the game that size plays quick. Yes I know 100 points is the "proper" game size, but we are  not there.....yet.

Every army has the same dice chance when rolling to hit and save. A simple 1/3 or 2/3 to hit and save from being hit.

The wyrd WWII setting is stupid fun too!

My Tanya and Magda foot sloggers

I have been rolling with my Mercenaries/ Busty ladies with flamethrowers and grenade launchers. I haven’t painted enough not-Nazi zombies and armed gorillas to get a 50 point army together….yet.

Gregor and his "Wrecking Crew"

I have been facing off against the German Fallschirmjäger (paratroopers) and or the U.S.M.C.

I have had equally good and bad games against both. The airdropping Germans can bring a withering amount of fire to the tabletop. Very few infantry units can stand against the amount of dice rolled when they unload their machine guns. Thank the gods for cover saves!

When they airdrop I tend to fair better against them as my ladies can mob up on them in small clusters and melt their faces. When they walk onto the board and turtle-up I usually don’t survive as long.

The U.S.M.C. are a tough  nut to crack too. The list I face are very close range and they do it better than my close range army. The games against them are very brutal and fast as their shotguns and flame thrower troops are an equal match to my grenade and flamethrower troops. Plus their support weapons and rifle squads can put down some good covering fire too. Thankfully, they don’t have many walkers to field….yet.

Halloween Horror: Levithan (1989)

The next movie this month comes from the depth of the ocean in 1989. It is the film Leviathan and it wants to know……”How long can you hold your breath?”

Actually, for little over a minute and I think that is ok for a non-professional swimmer/diver. It is also a tagline that has literally no connection to the film.

PLOT

Set in the near future (so I guess this was supposed to be like now or a few years prior?) a group of underwater miners working for the Tri-Oceanic Corporation are almost at the end of their 90 day work rotation. They have almost their quota and their also their wits end with their, work, crew and life under the sea. While finishing their mining for precious sea bottom minerals, one miner (the over sexed goof-off of the crew named known as Six Pack) wanders off and happens to fall into a random ravine. As the crew rushes to save him he reappears with a discovery. He has found a sunken Russian ship!

Well, of course they are going to investigate this sunken ship and bring back some loot! I mean if they didn’t there would be no real story right? A safe is retrieved from the wrecked ship by the drinky horn-dog Six Pack. Once opened the crew finds a bottle of vodka, some personnel files and a few VHS casettes. The vodka gets pilfered by Six Pack and he skirts off to share it with female crew member Bridget.

Meanwhile….the ship doctor and the mining rig C.O. Beck (Stephen Beck, but everyone calls him Beck )investigate the tapes and the ship, which is named Leviathan. Low and behold the Russian ship Leviathan is currently sailing ocean and not at the sea floor. Wyrd!?!?!?! Also the video tapes show various Russian crew members in various states of being bed ridden, ill and possibly mutated?!?! The doc pieces together that the Russians were trying to make under water soldiers and failed. So they apparently sunk the Leviathan and scrubbed all information about this.

 

Well just then Six Pack and Bridget get all virus-like sick. Six Pack dies from this “virus” but not before getting all fish scaly and gross. OH NO!!! The vodka was the carrier for the Russian mutation stuff! Bridget sees this and kills herself not wanting the same to happen to her. The doc and Beck decide to dump the bodies and hide the fish man story. This sounds great until the dead bodies begin to struggle as they are dumped out into the briny deep. Of course a random leg gets clipped off and squirms away into the depths of the mining rig habitat.

 

"Hey doc does this look infected?"

 

It soon mutates into an eel monster and begins to terrorize the crew. Hell, it eventually forms itself into and amalgam of fish, eel and crew members. Then it begins to destroy the mining rig and chase down the remaining crew. Beck and the remaining gang have to fight for their lives and try to make it back to the surface and safety.

 

Hello there!

BUT WAIT!!!!

There is also the whole story thread of the Tri- Oceanic Corp. keeping the miners below the surface. See there is an approaching hurricane and they can’t bring the crew up at the 90 day limit. They will have to stay down there for safety and might as well work a few more days until the storm passes. Harsh, but fair? Right? Well then the doctor also tells the corporation bosses about the deadly genetic mutation outbreak by calling it a virus. He does this to keep this genetic mutation from getting to the surface. This leads to the Tri-Oceanic corporate goons to make a story of a horrible mining accident and all the crew members were killed. It will hurt their stock, but not as much as a virus or giant fish man mutation getting out to the world. Yup! The evil corporate entity is evil bit.

  

Robocop hashes it out with evil corporate figurehead

Halloween Horror - The Creature from the Black Lagoon

Halloween month movie reviews. Here I’ll talk plot, star power/actor potential (should this be better or worse given the cast), what was good, what was bad and would I recommend it.

The first from the beneath the water themed October horror movies is the 1954 release of The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

PLOT

A geology expedition in the Amazon led by Dr. Carl Maia uncovers some crazy fossil evidence that could link aquatic and land mammals. Of course the fossil found is a wyrd large skeletal hand with webbed fingers. Dr. Carl heads back to the states to tout his find to his buddy Dr. David. You know what comes next……A full group of science nerds, and for some reason, the girlfriend of one of them heads off to the Amazon to find more fossils and possibly the remaining skeleton that belongs to this fossil hand.

 

"Lets go find us some fish man fossils!"

Now as they search around the shores of the river a heavily scaled humanoid fish-man becomes curious of the party. He beastie is found rummaging around their camp and scares a couple scientists. They panic and attack the fish-man. It retaliates and kills the two of them. The dead scientists are found by Dr. Carl and crew and assume this attack was done by a jungle cat. They continue with their fossil search because why not. I mean these were just lesser assistants and their deaths were just a part of the job. The crew hop a boat and travel down river thinking they will find more fossil evidence in the seclude and mysterious Black Lagoon. A body of water  off the Amazon where nobody has ever returned from!

 

(insert World of Warcraft Murloc noise here)

Well now they have invaded the personal home of the fish man who attacked the camp. He begins to terrorize the science crew, or maybe he is just defending his home from invaders. Either way the scientists and boat crew have a few skirmishes with the fish man. This leads to more scientist and boat crew deaths and plots to capture and /or kill the fish man. The beast also falls for the girlfriend of Dr. David as fish men are want to do. The cat and mouse game of man vs. beast runs for a while until it grabs Kay, the girlfriend of Dr. David, and takes her to his watery lair. Now Dr. David and Dr. Carl give chase to rescue Kay and stop the monster.

 

Now lets go kill the living fossil fish man we found!
He is after our women!

This leads to an eventual showdown where Kay is saved by the Dr.’s and the creature is riddled with bullets. The last we see of the beast is it slowly sinking to the depths of the Black Lagoon. Dead…..OR IS IT!?!?!?!

 

 

STAR POWER

I have no idea if this movie was full of soon to famous or already famous. This is a big pass here since I have no idea who the cast of this film is or was. I can say I didn’t hate any of the characters portrayed so…. Whomever they are/were they did good work for an old school monster movie.

 

Halloween Movie TIme 2018!!

For the Halloween season this year I’m staying away from horror reboots. The last two years have been fairly unpleasant horror movie watching with all the pointless remakes of all the various hooro films.

Now this year I am still going to do a theme when it comes to some horror films.

I thought I would tackle a genre of horror that I haven’t really been a big fan or really enjoyed.

These are creature features from a few different decades.

They are also relegated to B movie status, but that is fairly common for all creature features.

I love me a good monster movie, but how will I fair when the monsters come only from……..

…..beneath the water!!!!!!!

Yup this October I’m going to watch (and re-watch in one situation after a double decade at least from the first view) a quartet of creature features about underwater monsters.

I’m going to start in the 50’s with the best looking of the original Universal movie monsters….The Creature from the Black Lagoon.

Then I’ll leap frog all the way into 1989 for a pair of undersea monsters from the same year. Oh how I love when Hollywood comes out with dueling films about similar subject matter. That  always works for  them doesn’t it? I’ll view Leviathan and Deep Star Six.

Finally, I’ll stop in the reciprocal of 89 to 1998 to watch Deep Rising.

So join me if you will as we set sail for proverbial adventure and exploration below the watery depths! Let us see if we can find an underwater creature movie that is as fun to watch as Jaws, less pretentious than the Abyss and better than Sharktopus.

First up……The Creature Black from the Black Lagoon

D&D Post Game 9-15-18 Part 3

The party made their way into the forest and began to travel in the Frost Peak foothills. This is where they lost their way. They found it increasingly difficult to follow tracks in and through the forested hills. Hour and hours were lost travelling one direction only to realize they were off the trail and needed to double back to where they started. It was several frustrating hours later when the tracks had been lost again, but they found something else. Several large shapes were stomping through the forest moving parallel to the party. It was a party of four ogres carrying large clubs, makeshift axes and a couple of bulky burlap bags. They were headed west and up farther into the foothills. The party leapt on their horses and quickly rode over to attack the beasts.

The adventurer’s leapt to action and laid into the ogres with daggers, pistol, fists and bow.  The surprised ogres didn’t have time to mount much of a resistance since they were ( somehow ) surprised by four warriors on horseback charging them from the woods! What happened next was a glorified dust up with the party sustaining limited damage and the ogres being pasted yet again. These heroes don’t take kindly to giant types and their associated ilk that was for sure. A quick recon of the scene and they party found a well-worn trail leading to a large cave in the hillside ahead. The ogres were carrying more foodstuffs in their rucksacks as well. They guessed that all this food was to fuel the voracious appetites of these large creatures. They quickly mounted up and rode off and up toward the hillside cave.

The party dismounted and approached the large and very fragrant smelling cave entrance ( think wet earth mixed with bad onions  and boys locker room ). As they stood there trying to devise a plan they were unaware that they were being watched from within the cave. See for people and horses standing outside of a cave are very easy to see if you are inside said cave and looking toward the entrance/exit. The group soon heard the approaching heavy foot falls of two rapidly approaching ogre sentries. Well it seemed that all their talking and planning was for nothing. They drew weapons and moved to a more defensive posture. Still it was only just two ogres right?

Well yes it was, but they put up more of a fight then the party expected. The rouge took a horrendous hit to the head neck and chest from a wide arcing swinging club. Even the monk was battered a bit by one of the ogres, but he was able to shake it off with help from a couple of healing potions. The quartet of heroes did their best to sneak through the dimly lit cave until they reached a large and loud chamber.

D&D Post Game 9-15-18 Part 2

The four adventurers mounted their horses and rod e off following the footprints of ogres and at least one giant.

After a few hours of riding, the sun had almost set. It was twilight and they would lose the ability to follow these tracks shortly. It was then that the elf saw the signs of a small fire roughly a ½ mile away. The party dismounted and slowly advanced on the location. Soon they were within sight of a small camp full of ogres and what looked to half-ogres. These creatures were sitting around a large fire and eating drinking and carrying on without a care in the world. The group sent the rouge ahead to sneak into the camp for more information. The dragonborn rouge agreed it was a sound idea and smiled as he slipped into the shadows. The rest of the party prepared to take action if the thief was discovered.

Several moments later an ogre was seen standing to stretch and then he suddenly began to convulse, stumble and grasp at his neck. The ogres in the camp sprang to action! Some went of weapons others began to cry out in alarm. A pair moved to help their companion. It was too late for him as he lurched forward and fell dead all the while coughing and chocking on the stream of blood flowing from his slit throat. Behind him the beasts caught a glimpse of a small dragonman before he seemed to disappear into the darkness surrounding the camp.

Suddenly, arrows began to fly into the campsite. That was followed by the sound of small explosions and hot lead shot infused with magical fire. If that wasn’t enough, an unarmored human rushed into the camp and began punching and kicking every ogre within reach. This was followed by the dragonman reappearing to strike at the backs and flanks of others. It was complete chaos in the campsite! Ogres struck out with crude clubs and axes. Half-ogres fell defending their brethren. An ogre hoisted a ballista like a crossbow only to lose his target in the shadows. The chaos of the battle ended almost as quickly as it began. The ogres and their half-brothers were all dispatched and the quartet of heroes was mildly unscathed. They made a quick search of the camp and found more bags and barrels of food. They also found a barrel full of silverware, silver place settings and candle sticks. These must have been spoils taken from the plantation house. They grabbed some food and the miscellaneous silver goods and made to make camp a few miles from this location. As they bedded down for the night they noticed the nearby forest and the begging of the foothills below the Frost Peak Mountains. This is where the giant an ogre tracks were leading.

D&D Post Game 9-15-18 Part 1

Three days and four nights of travel and the party eventually made it to the region where the barbarian and giant raids had been occurring. Their first stop was a moderately sized plantation where various vegetables and grains were grown. What they found was a large home, a barn, a silo and workers quarters that had been crushed, smashed and ransacked. The nearby fields had also been cleared of crops. Nothing remained by torn roots, vines and tufts of vegetation. The party dismounted and began to search the grounds.

They found boulders and what looked like ballista bolts in the crushed ruins of the plantation home. The walls of the workers quarters and the barn appeared to have been smashed open from the outside and then again from within. All of these buildings had been ransacked and anything of value looked to have been take. Also any food (even including animal feed) had been taken as well. The grounds were also covered in the deep impressions made from feet from very large humanoids. They continued to scour the grounds looking for any survivors. All they found was the torn and what appeared to be gnawed left arm of some unfortunate victim.

They decided to check out the battered silo before leaving to follow the various giant tracks leading West. As they approached the silo they saw the lower legs of what must be an ogre (by the size) sticking out from behind the silo. It appeared it was lying down, possibly sleeping or relaxing. They made their way toward it and then the legs twitched a little, but the creature appeared to still be lying on its back. They made their way around the building and discovered why the ogre was lying so still. It was dead. A large form was hunched over the body stuffing handfuls of ogre remains into its maw. It appeared to be a hill giant, but it was unlike any hill giant the party had seen before. They were used to seeing a textbook description of a burly, hairy and robust humanoid that stood 10 feet (or taller) and weighing upwards of a ton. What they saw instead was an emaciated giant with mottled sagging skin. It looked like the creature had gone through rapid weight loss. Upon its wrists and ankles were shackles and the remains of think linked chains. Its only attire was a worn and torn large animal skin that was covered in offal and dung. The pathetic looking giant raised its head and upon seeing the quartet of tasty morsels bellowed and lunged forward to try and grab a new and tasty looking snack.

The party sprang to action! The rouge and monk deftly leapt aside. The bard unleased a blast from his pistol as the farmer turned warrior let arrows fly. The giant thrashed about grabbing, swatting and biting at anyone near him. The rouge dodged large fist, but in doing so left himself open to the beast’s gaping maw. The giant latched down on his leg and tried his best to remove it in one bite. Thankfully the bard was nearby and his, limited but still helpful, healing magic kept the rouge up (with both legs) and in the fight. The monk was also able to doge a few swings, but not all of them. A sizeable punch knocked him back, but he quickly recovered. The bard and fighter/farmer continued to fire at the beast. This along with the weight of attacks from the monk and the rouge’s sneak attacks soon laid the giant low. By the look of the beast, they were definitely doing it a favor. They had no idea who could and would keep a giant chained and in this type of starved condition. They policed the area finding nothing but more tracks. They mounted up and rode off as the sun started to set. They now knew there were giants and ogres active in the area and they were going to try their best to stop them from doing further harm.

D&D Pre-Game 9-15-18 Part 2

News of the giant and barbarian issues tricked down through the city of Stonekeep. The city elders had decided to pay for scouting parties to investigate the rumors of these apparent rumors of numerous giants and or ogres invading the lands. After three parties did not return people backed off volunteering to investigate the South West hills and farm lands.

Well that was until the town upped the price and four adventurers thought it was easy money, had nothing better to do or just hated the other options for work around the area.

 

Since the death of their barbarian friend (and the fallout surrounding the return of his human noble family….who arrived to claim the body their tower stronghold, the tavern that was almost finished and 1/3 of their collected fortune) the dragonborn rouge, human monk and occasional elven bard had no home, no job prospects and were looking for something to take their minds off their new homeless situation. The monk happily took the job to investigate these giant/ogre rumors. It seems he has a secret like of killing giants that the party was unaware of. The trio made their way to the stables to procure transport.

 

While at the stables the party’s conversation drew the attention of one of the stable hands. He introduced himself as Chet and offered to aid in this mission. See Chet was a simple farmer, but after the gnoll attacks around Clovershire Keep he had come North looking for a job. His farm had been sacked in the attacks and now he was working in the city and sending back what money he made to his family. His combat prowess was…lacking is a good term, but he was no stranger to a bow. He had even put his meager archery skills to use during those gnoll attacks. The idea of making 100 gold crowns, which is more money than he had ever seen in his life, for just a simple scouting mission was too hard to pass up. The trio welcomed him and his bow to the party.

 

The quartet of adventures made their way out of Stonekeep and rode off to the lands Southwest in search of giants!

D&D Pre-Game 9-15-18 Part 1

The Midlund Realm….

A month back the lands to the South West were being plagued by barbarian raids. Small bands of crazed tribal warriors descended from the foot hills of the Frost Peak Mountains. The local militias were unable to stop them ,due to being pulled to stop the gnoll raids around Cloveshire Keep and the towns surrounding them. The barbarians were raiding local villages, trade routes and the lager plantations in the area mostly for meat, furs, leather and other food stuffs. They did manage to leave all the buildings standing and kept their killing of innocents to a minimum. These raids appeared like supply runs than typical wanton destruction that barbarian raids are known for. However, after just a few weeks of raids the barbarians disappeared almost as quickly as they arrived.

After the last raid, a pair of local hunters gave chase in hopes of finding where they were launching their attacks. As they made their way up into the foothills they found the temporary camp for the barbarian tribe, but it was not what they expected at all. The entire camp was in disarray and looked abandoned. The usual lean-tos, tepee and temporary lodgings were all there, but they had been smashed to pieces. Instead of small family units and groups of warriors, there were a few random body parts littering the area. They appeared to have been torn from sockets or even worse….torn off by rough teeth. Then there were the small boulders scattered around the camp. Occasionally the smashed and smeared remains of tribesmen could be seen underneath them.

The two hunters had an idea as to what had happened hear seconds after entering the camp. Their thoughts and fears were confirmed when they say the amount of large footprints throughout the campsite.

Giants! Giants in a large number had come down from the mountains and attacked the large barbarian campsite.

The two men ran off to alert the region and send word to the North for help. Barbarian raids were bad, but giants in large numbers was even worse news.