D&D Post game , day after turkey Part 2

Stop me if you have heard this before.

A dragonborn, a human and two ½ orcs walk into a sewer…..

The party descended once again, into the tunnels and sewers beneath Stonekeep. They were looking for a rat catcher, the last loose end of a plot to further the ends of some unnamed death cult.

They made their way along the route they told this rat catcher travels. After a few miles of trekking through poo water they saw a bit of light up ahead. They rounded a bend and entered a big sewer cistern. There was an out-pipe but the poo water level hadn’t reached it yet. There they found two city watchmen and a ragged gentlemen with a squirmy potato sack and two large live traps full of rats. The party began to approach and talk to them, but there was no response. As the moved closer they could see that these three men looked awake and alive but were not breathing. It was then that three giant tentacle legged worm monsters dropped from the ceiling, crawled up from  the cistern and came walking down the tunnel. A group of Carrion Crawlers and behind them down the tunnel was a group of cultists drive them forward with spears.

 

The battle began with the party splitting up to take down the big angry tentacle caterpillars. The rouge and warrior tried to dislodge the crawler on the ceiling, but had little luck with that. The barbarian began attacking the cistern and other ceiling crawler. He was able to shake off the creature’s paralytic tentacles. The monk moved toward the advancing crawler and cultists. The creatures lashed out with their tentacles and managed to paralyze a few party members, but never for very long. This group was just not having any of that! Eventually the creatures all fell to a combination of swords, daggers, fists, maces and  a dwarven greatsword.  The cultists also followed suit.

 

The rat catcher and guardsmen eventually broke free from their paralytic stupor. The guardsmen were here on their monthly patrol with the rat catcher guild. The rat catcher was questioned about the cedar boxes. He mentioned how a blond tall human came and offered him 30 gold to go place an order for a small cedar box. That was all. He never returned to pick it up. He had no idea what it was for or who wanted it . he was a bit tipsy at the Slaughtered Hog when this guy walked in and offered him this job. He said his name was Mr. Johnson.  It was easy money. The party now had a  description of a potential threat, some blonde human dude named Mr. Johnson. It wasn’t much, but it was something.

They continued down the tunnels with the guards and rat catcher until they found a section of tunnel where the wall had collapsed. Behind it was another tunnel somewhat rough cut, but with a cobblestone floor. The rat catcher walks these tunnels all the time, and this wall collapse was new. The party decided to have the guards escort the rat catcher back to their tower to keep him safe. They then moved down this side tunnel.

After walking and descending further down they found a door. The rouge found no traps and they opened it. As the door swung open an alarm sounded! Yup missed that check for sure. They cut the rope setting off the small ringing bells. They cautiously moved on until they saw the familiar sight of bloated dead bodies moving toward them. The same bodies that explode with worms and poison they had fought before. They knew to keep their distance and attack with a barrage of ranged weapons. They dropped the quartet of bloated zombie bombs without getting near them. They continued onward.

 

Eventually , they arrived at a large  dimly lit room. From the entry way they could see the floor undulating. Throughout the room were no less than twenty of the maggot pits they had encountered at the farm last week. Along the walls were another dozen of the bloated walking corpse bombs, but they were not moving. The group began to make their way through the room. The barbarian and monk arrived safely to the other  side. The warrior and rouge both stepped on loose stones. Once this happened they were showered with giant centipedes, worms and maggots from the ceiling. The bloated corpses also began to shamble forward. The centipedes began to bite and inject a weak poison. The bloated bodies moved ever closer. The rouge and warrior ran forward slapping worms, centipedes and maggots from their face, clothes and gear. They were able to shake off the poison being injected into them and easily out distanced the bloat zombies shuffling their way.

That was until they reached a dead end. Well a dead end with a secret door built into it. Once again no traps were found so they slid it open. Inside they discovered a giant room with a deep dark pit in the center. Suspended in midair above the pit was a large platform. Atop this platform were all manner of candles, four hooded statues, two cages housing twitchy undead, three fancy robed figures and roughly a dozen cultist all in some state of ritual chanting.

Knowing this couldn’t be good the party drew weapons and launched into battle!

D&D Post game day after turkey Part 1

Having thwarted some crazy plot by evil monks, the party decided it was time to head back to their tower home for some much needed rest. As they arrived they saw a multitude of gifts, flowers and foods piled outside. These were all gifts from the citizens of Stonekeep for the actions of last fall. The found all manner of incense, blankets, baskets of fruits and breads, small baubles, wheels of cheese, garlands of fresh herbs, bouquets of flowers, small music boxes, fragrant candles, a few small casks of ale, a few bottles of vine and a trio of hand crafted cedar boxes.

They drug all this into the tower and began to rummage through it. Foods were sampled. Alcohol was tried. The blankets were tossed on the floors for inspection. Eventually everything was tasted or inspected. That left only the three small cedar boxes. They were of fine make and must be fairly expensive since there are no cedar trees in this part of the realm. The boxes were opened and inside was the most horrible smell ever. The room filled with an odor that was equal part rotting flesh, dung, putrid water and a hint of bad cheese. The boxes each contained a small wet cloth pouch. These pouches contained all manner of meat bits and wet paste mix of unknown reagents. They quickly took these three boxes several hundred feet outside the tower and lit them on fire to dispose of them. As they lit them on fire they were still working through what this was all about and the idea of bait bags came to mind. The party rushed to the top of the tower to see if anything had followed the smell.

Minutes later and the thick black smoke from the burning boxes was starting to dissipate and still nothing had followed the smell. The dragonborn rouge decided to investigate and snuck down to the fire. The monk and pair of ½ orcs watched from the tower roof. The rouge approached the small fire and still there was no sign of anything. However, from the tower, the party noticed the ground begin to swell in a couple of spots near the thief. They yelled to warn him, but it was too late. There was an explosion of dirt and grass. From beneath the ground a huge armored and segmented worm/bug-like creature. It’s large many faceted eyes stared down at the rouge. It’s large pincered mouth began to click wildly. That is when a second of these creatures exploded from the earth. The party on the roof top began to sprint down to the stairs to help.

 

The rouge drew weapons and attacked the armored bug-worm. The creature returned the favor by grabbing him in his oversized pincers, holding him in place and biting into his chest. The rouge struggled to break free as the creature continued to hold and bite him.

The rouge eventually was able to break free from the jaws of the bug-worm. He jumped to safety and began to sprint toward the tower. It was then the creature unleashed a gout of fluid at the retreating rouge. The green fluid barley missed the fleeing rouge, but some did manage to splash on his leg. It quickly began to burn through his leather leggings and sting the scales beneath. Acid. The things spit acid as well.

D&D Pre-Game 11-24-17 2 games this month!

“What do you mean this is my fault?”

“You know the watch where you were covering for me last weekend. The same watch where Captain Bartholomew found you sleeping. The same watch where you ratted me out for not being there. Any of that information ring a bell Kenneth? That is why we are both down her tonight.”

“Well Franklin! If you weren’t so set on chasing after the new barmaid at the Round Robin then we wouldn’t be here either.”

“Well I had a good chance with her.”

“Yeah she waiting for you back at the barracks is she?”

“Shut up! I think I heard something.”

“Well of course you heard something we are under the damn city. There are all manner of rats, frogs, drifters and guttersnipes down here Franklin.”

“Shut it!”

The two city guards stood with lanterns raised. The slow drip of water could be heard along with Franklin’s heavy breathing.

“Hold your breath for a minute would ya?” Kenneth whispered. “There is someone down the tunnel.”

Between the water drops the sound of something dragging or shuffling could be heard. Both guardsmen heard it. They shared a look and drew their swords.

It wasn’t uncommon to have a large beastie make their way into the sewers. That is what this patrol was for. The city sweeps the sewers monthly. No guardsman wants to do it. It is boring and smelly work and occasionally they dredge up some angry forest creature that is lost and hungry. There are even stories of horrible monsters, the living dead, fanatical cults, roving bands of flesh carvers, guilds of assassins, and unnamed horrors just waiting to devour one’s face. Truth be told, this patrol rousts some homeless people, drunks, rats, opossums and the occasional big bitey lizard.

The two guards rounded the next corner and sway a couple figures standing in the tunnel a small fire crackled at their feet.

“Relax Kenneth it is just some drunks or drifters. Look at ‘em. Just standin’ they is. Look at him sway back and forth. Let’s go roust them up top and get them to one of the shelters or into a cell to sleep it off.”

Franklin sheathed his sword and approached the two figures.

“Hey, you two! No sudden moves.’

“Franklin! Come back here. This doesn’t look or feel right.”

“Just relax Kenneth. Look they are so out of their gourd they don’t even realize we’re here. Ain’t that right boys!” Franklin yelled toward the two people standing in front of him.

Still there was no response.

As Kenneth approached he could see that the two men in front of him were staring with wide eyes, breathing slowly, but they were not moving. He waved the lantern in front of them, but they didn’t respond.

“Hey Ken! You need to see this! These two are just...it’s like they are frozen. Come take a look!”

Happy Thanksgiving!

D&D post game 11-18-17 Part 2

Our intrepid adventurers rode off the next morning looking for a Temple to the god Torm.

After a long Lord of the Rings like travel montage with the music and scenery, they arrived at the temple. Of course they arrived during a battle outside in the courtyard. There they saw five knight/crusader types facing off against a small horde of ninja/monks from the Dark Moon.

They rode in and joined the battle!

 

The Dark Moon increased their attacks and even had a pair of members rush toward the temple. The barbarian and rouge teamed up to assault the forces to the right. The new ½ orc warrior and monk rushed to aid the holy knights/crusaders on the left. The battle raged until the Dark Moon losses started to rise. A quartet of them disappeared into the shadows and made their escape. The pair that made their way into the temple were hunted down and killed before they could do whatever it was they were trying to do.

As the battle ended, they two parties met to discuss events. The crusading warriors of Torm had been at the temple for only  a few weeks. It was their turn to man this area, maintain the land, provide assistance and do all the daily rituals until this time next year. They had no idea why they were attacked and who was attacking them. There was nothing of value here to steal so they were incredibly confused by this attack.

The party began to police the bodies and found them to be a mix of humans, the body modification humans and a few more of those greenish pointy eared creatures. The crusaders attened the wounded and recovered their fallen bretheren.

By dusk the group was inside the temple searching for anything of worth. The rooms were all searched. The two small out buildings contained provisions and food stuffs. They found nothing to explain why the Dark Moon had attacked.

By now it was getting on toward night. Watches were set and the waiting began. Waiting for the inevitable attack…that eventually happened.

It was the ½ orc warriror who first heard the sound of scratching at the front door. Drawing one of his maces he pulled open the door and swung at the figure kneeling by where the door lock had been.

Then the night erupted with the sound of shattering glass!

D&D post game 11-18-17 Part 1

The party returned after thwarting a creepy death cult that was really really fond of worms. 

They  discovered in their absence that there was an attack on the funeral procession on the recently deceased high cleric of Lathander. Of course the city guard and a handful of adventurer chased off the attackers but not before they defiled the coffin and corpse inside.

One such random adventure type helping was a wandering ½ orc warrior who was stopping in Stonekeep looking for information about various orc tribes. Once the attack on the parade started he waded into the fracas. It wasn’t because it was the right thing to do. It was it was a fight and it seems this guy loves him a good fight!

The day after the party consisting of the rouge, barbarian and monk returned to town. The bard decided to travel north a bit to see what he could find for inspiration there. Once back the party split to investigate the disturbance, to relax and drink, investigate a bit into the ninja/monk medallion they found and why there was also a giant conclave of armored paladins, crusaders and holy warriors arriving in big numbers.

So many guys looking like this coming into town.

-The monk had some historical knowledge about the ninja medallion guy. The attire and medallion show his allegiance to the Order of the Dark Moon. Bad monk types.

-The priest body was stuck with several long thin hollow needles.

-The dead monks were being held by the city guard. They consisted of several humans, a tall thin no nosed pointy eared humanoid, several other humans with pale greyish skin, many tribal tattoos and a lot of body piercing, and finally a pair of drow. The city was keeping the drow information secret as not to cause more panic.

-The holy guys were from temples of Tyr, Torm and Tempus. They were setting off toward the Dead Lands and to the various shrines and temples in the lands, Why? Well to see if they had been defiled like a few of their temples in the North had been. To find the culprits. To discover the evil stuff that was all evil. (This was a big plot hook for the paladin, but he was absent this game so……) They were also hiring anyone willing to travel to the outlying temples in the region to see if there were any issues there, and to call to action any holy warriors that would want to help.

D&D Pre-game 11-18-17



A halfling in all manner of silk finery quickly walks down a dimly lit hall. Several armed guards stand to attention as he moves past them. He approaches a set of round iron doors and removes a key from within his robes. He quickly works the door lock and pushed them open.

He walks into a large Spartan room. A few stone benches and a dozen small oil lamps line the walls. The aid is thick with incense, steam, flute music, hushed feminine voices and the sound of water being poured. The tiny figure pulls a silk handkerchief from his pocket to cover his mouth and nose. He takes a few steps forward and lets his eyes adjust to the room.

As he moves he can see three scantily clad humanoid females dancing and gyrating throughout the room to the music. He knows the other women attendants are nearby large shallow pool giving his master his daily steam bath.

“My lord. I apologize for the interruption, but I have news.” says the gnome. His voice a bit muffled and muted due to the handkerchief.

“Let me guess.” replies a wet guttural voice from within the steam. “That cockamamie death cult failed to summon anything of worth.”

“Well yes and no master. They did fail to summon any of the lower denizens and their deity did not answer. Still, they did manage to fully weaponize the dead with various poisons and those hideous worms they use to infest themselves and others.

“That same group of heroes ,that has been harrying your plans, stopped them. It seems our informant had a change of heart at the last minute and wanted to protect his city. He has since been found and dealt with accordingly. Master.” The gnome braces himself for the bellow that usually follows bad news. Strangely that doesn’t occur this time.

“What of the monks?” asks the voice from within the steam.

Destiny 2 review

Well I never played the first Destiny, but I was bored and grabbed the sequel. Boy I hope I’m not confused about what is going on with the plot.

Yeah nothing to worry about there. I am some galatic “guardian” with cool powers derived from some giant sphere called the “Light.” This power/sphere also protects Earth for evil aliens and such too. Well that is until a race called the Cabal show up to ruin your day  and hijack the “Light” sphere. These Cabal aliens are an army called the Red Legion. They strip the guardians of their Light powers and start attacking the solar system.

Now playing a guardian I have to save the day using various guns and special guardian powers.

Alright, the plot feels recycled and I am literally missing nothing by not playing the first Destiny.

The main villain is a mix of Darth Vader, Bane and a walrus.

Gameplay?

Well it is the standard first person shooter. We have all played those by now. Very easy to pick up and start blasting away at aliens from the Cabal, Taken, Vex and Forsaken species.

Guns! Do you guns? There is a plethora of ranged weapons here. Well until you get far enough and the same ones seem to always  drop. Still, there is enough gun variation to make sure you find some ranged death dealing weapon that fits your lifestyle.

Do you like lazers?
Do you like ricochet?
Do you like colors?
This gun has all that in spades!

There is a jumping element to the game and this I abhor! A few missions and strikes ( think dungeons from Warcraft) have various platform jumping bits. You know what I like about platform style jumping in any game?  NOTHING! Platform jumping is just something I hate. Hence I don’t play those games. Adding this to a first person game is confusing and stupid!

Such as annoying boss battle!

There is an experience point system that leads to a max level of 20. The XP gained add skill points for a weak multi-class skill tree system. After level 20 you still gain XP, but it when you would level you now get stuff for character customization (think transmog from Warcraft) instead of skill points, hit points etc.

There is also a weak attempt at a multiclass skill tree as well. Yup the guardian classes have three separate builds for whatever playstyle you prefer. Well for supposed playstyle. Well they don’t change playstyle, they just adjust how you jump and shoot bad guys. It gives you three different grenade and jumping options. It also has a couple of buff and a couple variations of your melee attack to choose from as well. Yeah it doesn’t do much to alter your play style and feels a bit tacked on for show.

There is a single player campaign that is just long enough to be fulfilling.

There are public PVE events that occur on every planet all the time. These are good places to grind money, XP, gear and reputation.

If you like a certain gun you can keep it indefinitely. All you have to do is breakdown newer more powerful weapons of that same time and infuse them into your favorite gun. I love that ability! Now you never have to dump that gun you like the range, handling , rate of fire again.

Nathan Fillion voices CAYDE-6.
His dialogue is some of the best stuff in this game.

There is a PVP element, which is awful for me as I’m a more team player and not a spastic squeaky jump around the screen ass clown.

I did enough of the PVP to get the one mission/gear reward.

Then I walked away because I hated it.

Why?

Well because when playing with three other randos you never know what game you get, but I always seem to know what I’ll get. If the mission is kill all the other team then the best strategy is to split up so it is easier to be taken down by the other team. Right? NO! Yet this always happened when I ran the PVP. It made it simple to wipe us out and win.

If the game was capture control points then once again split into singles and try to secure control points. NO! This once again made it easy for the opposing team to wipe us out and win.

Who does shit like that and think they will ever win a PVP match? It took 5 matches of getting pants down spanked ,thanks to dipshit players, before I was thrown in a group that worked together. That was amazing! We rolled all over the enemy team because we ran in a group and worked together.

Ok enough about the PVP element. Ummm…. What else?

Diablo 3 Season 12

Well the new Diablo III season has started.

Season 11 was the first one I ever tried. Damn did I miss out on this! I should have been doing these from the start.

A great way to get me to play through this again andto make me play characters I would never want to try.

Last season I used a Demon hunter and it was surprisingly fun!

Running a Crusader this time around.

Diablo III Season 12!

Time to churn through some monsters, gain some cool loot, nab an achievement or too and run lots and lots of rifts!

Hopefully I’ll get through it before Star Wars Battlefront 2 hits….

last month 300K

Wow! 300,000+ views another milestone reached!



Well when you put it that way Johnny Rico....

Thanx to everyone stopping by to read, look at or spy on my little corner of the interwebs!

Thor Ragnarok review.

Well after the events of Avengers: Age o’ Ultron Thor had left to investigate the whole Infinity Stone issue.

Ragnarok picks up after his trip around the universe looking for clues. Sadly he seems to have come up empty and also imprisoned by Surtur in his realm of Muspelheim (well hopefully that is where this is).

Surtur was voiced by Clancy Brown. A great call there!

Some chit chat and a fight later and Thor is heading back to Asgard to deal with Loki who is still impersonating Odin. This leads to Thor and Loki finding Odin and trying to bring him back to Asgard and to deal with the coming prophecy of Ragnarok. Sadly Odin has other plans and dies….again. This leads to Hela, Thor’s older sister/ Goddess of Death returning to takeover Asgard.

Now Thor has to stop her and rescue Asgard.

Fenris! So cool to throw him into the mix!

Post-Halloween 2017

A refreshing week away from the cyberverse but now I'm back to ramble about stuff again.

First off it was another productive Halloween at our place this year. Sure it was a Tuesday night and cold, but that didn't stop all manner of kiddies from making it to our doorstep.

It was a Star Wars (well except for the boy who went as Jason Vorhees) year for Halloween. My wife went as Rey, the step-daughter went as a jawa and I was  non-descript Jedi.


Since I had Rey and jawa in house I fabricated a version of Rey's staff and an ion blaster for the jawa.
I grabbed a lightsaber for myself because I did not want to build my own and it would also serve as a cool prop for my mainly Star Wars themed game basement.