HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Have excellent tricks and treats tonite all you ghosts and ghouls!

                               I couldn't decide which cheesecake pic I liked better, so I used both.

 

Sexy witches are sexy!

A bit horror fun.

Mine is Day of the Mutant Sock Puppets. It sounds very Troma produced movie.

Last scary, but not intentional, movie of the season

Where this is supposed to be scary it fails miserably and on more than just the scary. I have my final scary, but not intentional, movie of the Halloween season. 

I forced myself to watch World War Z. I knew I shouldn’t have and I knew with what I was getting involved. I went in knowing this was Brad Pitt zombie apocalypse movie, not the same named book that I enjoyed immensely. This is film where the title is the same as the book, and that is where the similarities end.

4 scary bad remakes

There are certain movies that should never be remade and hopefully won't be. Then again there are classics that have been raped and pillaged in the name of re-imagining or updating. There are a quartet of films that are my classics and they have all been rebooted for gods know what reason. Well money is the main reason I guess since these films, dated as they are like all classics, did not need a reboot. The original Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre are disturbing and scary to many people, and after the reboots they fall into the category of bad at a frightful level.

Three of these films were done with the backing of Michael Bay and directed by two music video directors. That right there makes for a bad film before the first scene is shot. What is worse is that they are supposed to be scary and disturbing. The disturbing part is real, but the scare is just not there.

Worse is that they show have some level of scare or spook to them. The only scary part is how bad they are.

More scary bad films and their ruling actor

I cannot pass over the worst movie star of the last century. He will take a role in anything because he loves acting, or he has a horrible addiction or way too much debt. His work is scary bad. His film choices are just as bad. I have given him one chance too many and many people have too. His name invokes scenes of dread and doom. He is Nicolas Cage and his work is terrifying!

I have sat through numerous Nick Cage movies for some idiot reason. I was either tricked into seeing them, was young and naive, was bored with nothing better to do, lost a bet, etc. I can go the rest of my life without seeing him in a movie. He is just terrible in everything he does. It is terrifying that he still gets work and scary that people choose to view it. I’ll briefly hit four films that I remember being awful.

Not a Black Library novel? Who am I?

I branched out  and grabbed a non- Black Library novel. I figured it was time to try something else. The question was what to try. I wandered through the bookstore and this caught my eye.

An every man who discovers the world around him is full of monsters and magic. He then is recruited to fight it, and then cool stuff is bound to happen. Well it sounds interesting enough. I’ll bite.

What I expected was  Hellboy light, and that is pretty much what I received, just not as good or fun.

Owen Pitt is our hero and is some lower spectrum accountant. I am thinking this……

What I got was more like this……

Owen Pitt is paramilitary trained, is 6’ something,  300 pounds of pure muscle, an ex-bouncer turned fight clubber, has all sorts of punching ability and power, is a gun nut, and a crazy fast shot as well. I can suspend disbelief about the monster aspect, but the main character is too much of a stretch. Yes, I can overlook the monsters but not the quasi-meta human turned accountant.

Scary, but intentional, films continue

I am not, nor do I understand who is, a fan of Michael Bay movies. The few I have seen are just awful. South Park summed it up best with the Imagination Land episode that included Michael Bay. Explosions and special effect shots do not a story make. I had walked away from any project of his years ago. Well that was until the other night.

I fell into a Michael Bay movie that stars Sean Bean and with the man crush I have I decided to sit through it to support him. Plus I really wanted to see if he made it out alive since he seems to die in every movie. Surprise...he doesn't live.

The film was The Island and it was bad, scary bad. It will easily make this month’s scary, but not intentionally, film list.

 

Sad but true.

I love the comic and the show, but this video is pretty true to form. never noticed the Shane head rub that much.

Chaos review #26 "Why so serious?!"

Where Lucius is better than average as a close combat/challenge character HQ unit, Kharn succeeds.

Kharn is the Khorne Berzerker. There was Angron the Primarch and after he went away, there is only Kharn. He is the go to for crazy close combat killing.

Kharn is still a melee monster. He comes with a WS 7, BS 5, strength 5, toughness 4, initiative 5, 3 wounds, 4 attacks, a leadership of 10 and 3+/5++ save. He comes armed with a plasma pistol, frag/krak grenades, a Mark of Khorne, the Aura of Dark Glory (5++) and Gorechild. He has the Warlord Trait of Hatred Incarnate and has the champion of Chaos, fearless, independent character, furious charge, veterans of the long war, Blessings of the Blood God and The Betrayer rules. He costs 5  points less than Lucius, and that is a bargain for a super kill crazy HQ.

January is too far off!

Genius!

Another scary, but not intentional, film

My second installment of this moth's scary bad.

Spawn is a comic that I only read the first ten issues and it still holds some memory. Sadly, it was not the story I have memories of, it was the artwork. This was a looking comic more than a reading comic for me. Sure there was a tale of loss, love and revenge all set against a backdrop of demons and Hell. I should have been all over this, but I just wasn't.

Well this comic created a movie, like many do. It was the typical origin story of Al Simmons and his whirlwind life of black ops stuff that eventually gets him killed and has make a deal with the devil (or one of Hell’s higher level functionaries) to return to his beloved wife Wanda. Along the way the deal goes akimbo and Al Simmons is now a soldier in the army of Hell. This once again should be right in my wheel house, but the movie application was so awful it left me with chills and nightmares. How could something based on pretty pictures, demons and a tale of revenge fail so badly?

Geared up for Sunday

I've been jumping over to AMC all week to watch the episodes of the Walking Dead that are my favorites. It has made for great background noise while working on projects too.

Sunday is the start of season 4. I will have football and then zombies what could make that day better?

Chaos review #25 the swordsman

Lucius “the Eternal” is still floating around the HQ slot for Chaos. He is the best of the best when it comes to close combat Chaos Marines who favor Slaanesh. He still has the same sad tale of being a super swordsman. If he does get killed in close combat, the slayer of Lucius will eventually morph and change into Lucius (insert Circle of Life song here). I still find him pretty blah and question why he is still a HQ choice.

1st scary,but not intentional, film

My first non scary scary movie.
This movie is a two hour nightmare of frightfully bad elements.  

Battlefield Earth

With a tagline like that, how could it suck?

Here we have Earth    years after it has been taken over by aliens from the planet Psyklo. These giant humanoid aliens are on Earth to strip the planet of valuable resources. They seem to have killed and/or enslaved most of humanity. Humans have become quasi-primitive again. They exist in tribes that are hunter gatherers and are all about the spears, bows, and animal hides.

A different take on Halloween fright

The month of October usually has me talking of monsters, slashers, beasts, undead and the sort. This year I am going in a bit of a different direction. I'm going to keep a Halloween theme of monsters, aliens, demons, soulless killers and the sort, but just a different angle.

Instead of focusing on the good scares from this time of year, I'm going to focus on the bad. See, there are good Hollywood movies and there are SyFy originals and a myriad of in between. However, there are certain films that are slated to be great, and just fail miserably. These are scary bad movies. Films that invoke nightmares with their awful acting, horrible effects and frighteningly bad plots. These are what I refer to as scary, but not intentional, films.

Walking Dead webisodes!

There is a new set of webisodes set in the AMC Walking Dead world. These are descent and will satisfy the need for zombie survival until the show kicks off in a few weeks.

This series is called The Oath.
You can check it out here  greg-nicotero-walking-dead-webseries.

The previous two are Torn Apart and Cold Storage, give them a go!

AMC Walking Dead webisodes